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Family dynamics can cause a lot of drama, but if there’s a problem that needs to be brought up, you can’t avoid it forever.

In this story, a couple is arguing about which one of them needs to confront a family member about a problem, and neither of them wants to talk to him. They both think the other person should do it, and the word “coward” is getting thrown around.

Honestly, I think they’re both cowards since they’re both avoiding talking to the same person, but the real question is if they even need to tell him about this issue at all.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA – For not reporting a leak from my upstairs neighbor to the landlord

I (M59) and my wife (F52) own a brownstone with my wife’s family.

We live in the Garden apartment, and my brother in law rents out his 3rd floor apartment for a high rent to a tenant couple.

I have been forced into the position of super because no one else steps up.

It’s not that bad — i deal with the garbage and supervise contractors for any building wide repairs.

You definitely don’t want to ignore a leak!

Last night, my wife and I were out and got a text from our daughter (F16) that there was a bad leak from the ceiling.

Fearing a burst pipe, I call the tenant and he admitted it was a “spill.”

I asked him to check on the floor between our apartments and if there was any leak, could he deal with it.

He sent a text with a full description of the leak in the parlor and his clean up and offered to pay for any damage.

They accessed the problem.

When I got home, we dried our floor. It didn’t look too bad, a rug got wet and there was some water on the floor.

By morning we saw there were wet stains on our ceiling and some other damp spots in closets.

My wife was very upset because the water was brown and yuck, and annoyed at having to deal with this at all. She told me I had to tell my brother in law about the spill.

It seems like they’re both cowards since neither of them wants to talk to the brother-in-law.

I didn’t see why given the tenant had offered to pay for any damage. And also, why couldn’t she tell her own brother?

(Her answer was, family dynamics).

She insisted and got pretty belligerent about it, calling me a coward several times.

As a compromise, I told her I would tell the tenant he had to tell his landlord (my BIL), but she continued on me, calling me a coward numerous more times and being quite aggressive.

He’s actually dealing with a lot right now.

Now, for context, three weeks ago I received a bladder cancer diagnosis, and have surgery scheduled for next week. I already had tons of blood tests and scary medical reports and a cystoscopy which was the single most invasive thing I’ve ever experienced (look it up).

I think I’m handling it all pretty well, so to call me a coward numerous times, including after I asked her to stop, I think is pretty awful for anyone, let alone a spouse.

And more context, ourdaughter was absolutely in earshot of all of this.

I thought my way of dealing with it was fine — insist the tenant tell his landlord and have the tenant pay for any damage. AITA for not feeling compelled to tell my BIL myself?

I’m wondering what kind of monster this brother-in-law is that neither one of them wants to talk to him.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong.

Another person thinks his wife is the problem.

This is what I’m wondering too.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who is confronted by his high school bully and decides to steal his Nintendo DS.

Everyone seems to be on OP’s side.

If his wife thinks it’s so important, she can talk to her brother-in-law. Or, they can let the tenant handle it. They don’t need to turn this into a big deal. Considering how hesitant they both are to talk to the brother-in-law, I can only assume he must be an awful person.

He has more important things to worry about.