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Vacations always sound like a great idea. Budgets can ruin the fun.
One sister wants a trip she can barely afford.
Her older sister expects the fallout.
See why saying no just feels complicated.
AITA (22F) for being against my sister (19F) going abroad with our mom on a trip they can’t afford?
I live with my sister “S” and my boyfriend “B” — we rent an apartment together in a city that’s considered expensive by our country’s standards.
To be clear, we’re not struggling, but we mostly only have enough for basic needs: rent, food, and occasional new clothes from fast fashion stores.
My boyfriend and I both work, but my sister lives off money from our parents. We split rent and utilities three ways, but most of the groceries and household goods are paid for by me and my boyfriend.
She helps her sister out when she can.
We often treat her to good food, and just recently I bought her a new phone for her birthday since her old one completely broke.
I gave it to her a month and a half early so it’d be more convenient for her, and she’s still getting a small birthday gift on the actual day — a dinner and some things related to her interests.
Her mom and sister are planning a trip.
A few days ago, she told me that she and our mom are planning a short trip abroad (3–4 days) at the end of summer or early autumn. They want to visit a nearby country where our uncle lives and plan to stay with him.
But here’s the thing — he’s not a good person.
He’s never cared about us, and none of us talk to him except for our mom. So expecting him to cover any expenses beyond offering a place to sleep is pointless.
She’s worried about the cost of the trip.
They haven’t shared all the details of the trip with me, but they plan to visit a few cities nearby, and just for the transport alone it’ll cost them about $150 for each one of them.
I know that doesn’t sound like much, but that’s basically a week of work for me.
Neither S nor our mom works — mom lives on government support, and S gets some money from our dad (alimony) and a bit from mom and grandma.
She keeps saying she’ll find a part-time job but hasn’t done it yet.
She confronted her sister about the cost of the trip.
Obviously, the trip will cost more than just $150 — they’ll need food, entertainment, and it’s important to note that while it’s a neighboring country, prices there are higher than ours.
When my sister first told me about the plan, I was caught off guard and reacted a bit harshly. I said they can’t afford it, and that this trip could impact my financial stability too.
I also told her she shouldn’t be traveling with mom because their relationship is tense, and they shouldn’t rely on our uncle because he’s always acted like he’s above us.
How did her sister react?
S didn’t listen — she just dropped the subject.
I talked to my boyfriend and to a close friend, and they both agreed with me, but I still don’t feel 100% confident that I’m in the right.
She should make it clear that she’s not going to help pay for the trip and then stay out of it. Let her mom and sister figure it out.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.
She needs to stop helping her sister so much.
This person offers a suggestion.
Here’s another vote for letting the mom and sister figure it out on their own.
Everyone seems to think OP needs to stop acting like their parent.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a girl who thinks her family is doing too much in criticizing the tidiness in her small space.
This person has a lot of questions.
She already helps cover groceries and extras, so an unaffordable vacation feels likely to become her financial problem too.
Most commenters said she cannot control the trip, but she can stop subsidizing her sister and refuse any future bailout.
Bon voyage is much easier when somebody else is not holding your wallet.