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Wedding traditions are supposed to feel meaningful. Somewhere along the way, this one turned into a full blown family standoff.
One bride is two months out from her wedding, dress and accessories already picked, when her fiancé’s family brought up an unexpected request.
Their “something borrowed” tradition requires an item from a former bride, and her sister-in-law offered up a blazer she wore at her own wedding a few months back.
There’s just one problem: it’s totally not the bride’s style at all.
So she turned down the offer, her fiancé backed her up, and that should have been the end of it. Instead, it kicked off a wave of hurt feelings and accusations that she’s the one being difficult.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA for refusing to wear SIL’s wedding attire on my day?
My wedding is in 2 months and I’ve already picked my dress and accessories.
A few days ago, my fiancé tells me that his mom wants to know what I’ll be borrowing from my SIL for the wedding.
This immediately created some confusion.
Apparently they follow the “something borrowed” tradition, but it has to be something borrowed from a former bride.
My SIL got married a few months ago, so I guess the assumption was I would wear something of hers.
She wore a friend’s shawl and has offered me a blazer.
The bride has one big objection, though.
My issue is there’s genuinely nothing of hers that I would want to wear.
We have very different styles, and if she had some jewelry or shoes that I loved, I would be more than happy to borrow those, but I’m just not into anything she wore.
She tried to tread carefully, but her SIL still got her feelings hurt.
I told my fiancé that I’d have to respectfully decline, and he agreed that I shouldn’t wear something I don’t want to on my day.
My SIL didn’t take this very well, and now I’ve been told that she feels offended because I’m about to become her sister, and I guess me refusing to wear something of hers made her feel a certain way.
Now the bride is considering how much she really owes to her SIL.
I’ve been reflecting on it for a few days, and I do feel somewhat bad about it, but I also don’t think I should be guilt-tripped into anything.
Not sure how to handle this without being the bad guy, and I don’t want to start my marriage off on the wrong foot with my partner’s family.
Am I being unreasonable?
It’s important to honor your partner’s family, but it’s also important to prioritize your special day.
What did Reddit have to say?
When you really think about it, why would a bride want to wear a blazer on her wedding day?
Maybe there’s a more subtle way to incorporate the tradition.
This reader suspects foul play.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend who is upset they missed out on cheap festival passes due to her pal’s indecision.
There are multiple ways to interpret this tradition.
The moment “something borrowed” becomes “something you’re obligated to like,” it stops being a tradition and starts being a test. And this bride failed that test simply by having taste.
Nobody forces a groom to wear his brother-in-law’s old tie because it technically fits the theme. So asking a bride to wear an item she doesn’t love doesn’t quite seem fair.
Feeling a little guilty here doesn’t mean she did anything wrong. It just means she’s a decent person who got put in a position where there was no way to say no without someone taking it personally.
Some traditions aren’t worth the drama.