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Sometimes, family responsibilities can create difficult choices.
This man is dealing with a complicated family situation after taking in his wife’s mother, who now requires significant care. Later, his daughter announced that she was pregnant and wanted to return home for the summer. So he found himself facing another difficult decision and had to figure out how to support all family members with limited resources.
This is a relatable story because each family member has specific needs, and sometimes, we can only fix one of the many problems in front of us. Read the full story below.
AITA for choosing my mother-in-law over my daughter
Firstly, I (55M) have one daughter (20F) who recently finished her sophomore year at a prestigious college on the opposite coast of the US.
For some context, during my daughter’s freshman year of college, my mother-in-law developed Alzheimer’s Disease.
She has progressively been more and more unable to take care of herself independently.
My wife (32F) has asked me to consider moving her mother into our daughter’s old bedroom to take better care of her.
This man agreed to move his mother-in-law into their home.
After some deliberation, I decided to move her in while my daughter was halfway through her freshman year.
I had informed her at the time, and she did not have any issues with it.
Since then, my MIL has become almost wholly dependent on me and my wife to care for her, which has been very stressful.
My wife insists on caring for her in our house though, because she is skeptical of the level of care and the cost burden at nursing homes.
He learned that his daughter was pregnant and wanted to move in with them.
However, recently my daughter informed me that she is pregnant with her boyfriend since freshman year.
Additionally, she has decided that she wants to keep the baby, which I have tried to be supportive of.
However, my daughter also requested that she be able to move back in with my wife and I for the summer.
She wants to consider what next steps she wants to pursue in terms of her career and education.
Although I want to support her to the best of my ability, my wife and I do not have room or money to support another dependent in our home.
When I requested she move in with her boyfriend’s family, she informed me that they were not supportive of the pregnancy and urging her to abort it.
He told her he couldn’t support her and her boyfriend.
Ultimately, I told her that I cannot support her or her boyfriend.
I told. them that they were adults and needed to figure out how to deal with these issues if they were going to raise children together.
She got angry and said that I was not supporting her and my grandchild.
To which I snapped and told her I don’t think she’s responsible enough to raise a child if she cannot figure out how to support it without moving back in with me.
She called me cruel and has been refusing to talk to me ever since. So, AITA?
Family problems and responsibilities can truly be overwhelming. I can understand why OP felt stressed by the situation, but telling his daughter that he didn’t think she was responsible enough may have been unnecessarily harsh. I think he should have looked more carefully at the situation of everyone involved to be able to make a more informed decision.
Let’s read the comments of other online users.
Here’s an honest remark.
This user calls him out.
Another one chimes in.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a girl who thinks her family is doing too much in criticizing the tidiness in her small space.
Here’s a valid point.
And lastly, this one offers a suggestion.
Difficult situations require more thorough decision-making.
