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There’s a difference between being a respectful son in law and being told you have no say in your own home.
One man found that line crossed almost immediately when his soon to be mother in law casually announced that she and her husband would be sleeping in his bedroom during future visits, framing it as non negotiable.
He tried to push back calmly, only to be met with a lecture about respecting elders instead of an actual conversation.
He brought the issue to his fiancée, hoping for a united front. But she wanted no part of it.
Suddenly the real issue wasn’t the bedroom at all, it was a fiancée who’d rather stay silent than stand beside him.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA for refusing to give up our bed for our in laws if they stay over?
I’ve recently moved into a new apartment with my fiancé.
His fiancé’s parents were pretty demanding people.
Her parents helped us unpack a few days ago, and one of the things my soon to be mother in law said is that if they stay over, we have to let them sleep in our room and we don’t have a choice about it.
Not her exact words, but that’s pretty much the gist.
He wasn’t so keen on this idea, so he made that clear, much to his MIL’s surprise.
At first I politely pushed back a little, mainly taken aback by MIL automatically assuming. She then went on to lecture me, saying it’s about respecting my elders.
But he’s starting to feel quite disrespected himself.
I feel like she’s overstepping my boundaries by telling me what I can and can’t do in the apartment I pay rent for. I’ve tried talking to my fiancé about it, but she just says to “keep her out of it.” She’s always been super obedient to her mother.
I’m trying to be diplomatic here, but I’m not sure what to do.
I don’t hate my MIL, but I don’t think she can just tell me what to do.
This MIL needs to take it down several notches.
Redditors chime in with their takes.
This user isn’t exactly optimistic about all of this.
Being a good guest almost never entails demanding the best room then throwing a fit when you don’t get your way.
Everyone has different ideas about what they consider polite.
It’s worth having a conversation about this sooner than later.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who finally blew up after years of being treated as the second-best sibling.
It’s easy to focus on the mother in law’s demand, but the more revealing detail is how his fiancée responded to it.
She didn’t disagree with her mother, and she didn’t defend her partner, she just asked to be left out of a conflict happening in her own apartment. That’s straight up avoidance, and avoidance has a way of putting all the pressure on the one person willing to speak up.
If his fiancée can’t set boundaries with her mother now, over something this minor, it’s a preview of how future disagreements might go.
Relationships need two people willing to hold a line, not just one.