Shutterstock

Sharing a studio apartment requires trust, especially when both roommates are sleeping, eating, and storing their belongings in the same small space.

Most people can tolerate an occasional late-night guest, but when those visitors start eating your food and sleeping in your bed, would you keep negotiating or ban them from coming over?

That is the boundary one college roommate sets after discovering drunken photos of strangers passed out where she sleeps.

See why this friendship may have crossed one line too many.

AITA for asking my roommate to stop bringing her friends over

So my roommate and I (both 18F) share a studio apartment with two separate beds.

I generally have no rules for the room and I’m fine with pretty much anything.

The only thing I ask is for her to keep her things on her side and ask if she wants to eat some of my food, use my toiletries, etc.

We get along really well and she respects my boundaries just fine.

And thus everything is fine and there was no reason to make this post.

Oh wait, sorry, there’s more.

Recently though, she’s started bringing over a new group of friends in the middle of the night and sometimes they won’t leave until like 5 am.

They’re not extremely loud, but they’re loud enough to where I can hear their entire conversations while I’m laying in my bed trying to sleep.

And it’s not just the volume that’s a problem, it’s the consumption.

I couldn’t care less about her having these people over, but the only thing that irks me is that I’ll check my side of the fridge in the morning and either my un-opened food is broken into or my water jug is half empty.

Every time this happens I reiterate to my roommate that I don’t want my food being eaten by her friends and every time she apologizes and says she “can’t control what they do” and gives me money to buy more food.

Then came the bed incident.

Today I check her Instagram on a whim and I see that she has photos from a month ago with her friends passed out drunk sleeping in my bed one night that I wasn’t at the apartment.

I confronted her about it and told her I was [angry] that she didn’t tell me that they slept in my bed.

She told me I was overreacting and that she washed my sheets for me the morning after.

I still felt extremely uncomfortable and told her I didn’t want her friends coming over anymore.

And that was the last straw.

She got super defensive and told me she’s allowed to have friends over in the room we share.

Which she’s right, but I still feel like she overstepped and making excuses for her friend’s behavior.

I don’t want to seem like I’m being a dictator of the room for controlling who she can and cannot have over.

Am I being [a jerk]?

Here’s what the comments had to say:

Some suggested fighting fire with fire.

That’s a serious invasion.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a woman who refuses to confine her dog for days on end because building management can’t schedule a more exact inspection time.

Bottom line:

The real problem here was not having friends over, but repeatedly allowing those friends to treat someone else’s food, water, and bed like shared party supplies.

Paying for replacements and washing the sheets fixed the physical mess, but neither one erased the roommate’s right to feel uncomfortable in her own home.

The guests may have been responsible for their behavior, although inviting them back after every incident made the roommate’s excuses increasingly difficult to accept.

A studio apartment is already short on personal space without turning someone’s mattress into overflow seating.