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Father’s Day can bring up complicated feelings when the person who raised you and the person biologically related to you are not the same.

Some people celebrate whoever actually filled that role, but if your absent father demanded public recognition years later, would you honor him or thank the mother who did the parenting?

That tension leaves one young man defending a post celebrating his adoptive mom after his biological father calls the decision selfish.

See why one holiday tribute opened an old family wound.

AITA For only posting my Mom for Fathers Day?

I (20M) grew up with a single mother who adopted me as an elderly woman as a baby.

My biological father was never there at all and is recently sober and has cancer, so I call him once in a while.

So when he decided to leave his dad out of his appreciation post on social media, his father felt hurt.

I posted my mother on Father’s Day thanking her for playing both roles.

My father got really upset and told me I should post him, and I didn’t.

He wants to feel bad about it, but he just doesn’t.

He told me that he does love me and he thinks it’s selfish of me to not acknowledge him for Father’s Day publicly.

AITA by being unsympathetic?

Sounds like this father has a bit of a chip on his shoulder.

Redditors weigh in with their two cents.

The role of a father is earned, not owed.

Quite frankly, this “father” doesn’t deserve it.

This man has a funny way of showing love.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a teenager who wants to work, but his mom thinks working past 8pm is too late for high school.

He was right to show his support to someone who was truly there for him.

Above all, this story shows that parenthood is built through years of love and effort, not biology alone.

The son honored the mother who raised him, while his biological father became angry that he was not included publicly.

His recent sobriety and illness may deserve compassion, but neither one rewrites an entire childhood of absence or guarantees him the title he never earned.

Father’s Day recognition is not a participation trophy awarded twenty years after the parenting had already happened.