Pexels/Reddit

Supporting a partner’s close family bond doesn’t mean surrendering every boundary around your own home, though one woman is currently being made to feel otherwise.

She and her boyfriend moved in together at the end of June, already accommodating his 22-year-old brother as a temporary roommate, a decision she made despite initial hesitation simply because it mattered to him.

So when her boyfriend later suggested his 9-year-old sister stay over two consecutive weekends instead of just one, she expressed mild hesitation about the frequency, only to be told she was “just like his ex” and unsupportive of his family relationships.

Given her own strained, largely estranged relationship with her own family, she’s already pushing herself outside her comfort zone to embrace his, which makes the accusation sting even more.

Now she’s left questioning whether wanting some breathing room in her own home actually makes her the unreasonable one.

Keep reading for the full scoop.

AITAH for not letting my boyfriend’s little sister stay round whenever she wants?

Myself (26F) and my boyfriend (26M) moved in together this year at the end of June. We have been together for 2 years and I am very happy in the relationship.

But their arrangement wasn’t what you’d call typical.

For context, his little brother, who is 22, also wanted an opportunity to move out of his family home, so he has moved in with us as well.

This isn’t going to be a long term arrangement, maybe a year or two to help him get on his feet. I wasn’t happy with this idea originally, but I could see that it would make my boyfriend happy, so I agreed. This has all been going well so far as well.

Soon her boyfriend also wanted to make room for his little sister too.

My boyfriend also has a little sister who still lives at home with his mum and step dad.

My boyfriend told me that she will be coming to stay the weekend at the end of the summer holidays, the end of August. I think this would be lovely, and we are going to make a fort in the living room to sleep in, bake cookies, all that fun stuff.

But this short-term stay quickly got extended.

He then said that he would like his sister to stay at ours for another weekend, the following week. I said I was a little hesitant about this, as it may be quite a lot.

Her boyfriend basically refused to hear any criticism over the idea.

He reacted negatively to this, and said I was “just like his ex,” and I should let his sister stay round whenever she wants. He thinks that I should support this, as I should want him to spend time with his family.

Her own family life couldn’t be more different.

I guess from my perspective, I have a very negative relationship with my family, I am pretty much estranged and we do not speak often.

As a result of this, family stuff makes me a little uncomfortable. But I can see how much my boyfriend loves his family, so I am pushing myself to be involved as much as I can, which is why I agreed to live with his brother for a bit.

She’s also more capable of being realistic about this request.

I just think the idea of having a 9 year old girl round pretty much every week is going to be exhausting for me. I want to feel comfortable in my own home. But he’s making me feel like an AH for suggesting that she couldn’t come round whenever she wants.

I can’t tell if I am being awful or it’s okay for me to set these boundaries.

Everyone needs boundaries, even close-knit families.

What did Reddit have to say?

Some people just aren’t self-aware enough to realize when they’re clearly the problem.

If her boyfriend is so insistent on his family being around, he needs to take responsibility for tending to them.

Maybe his ex isn’t as big of a villain as he’s making her out to be.

Her boyfriend isn’t being a very good boyfriend.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a student who did the math and figured out he was better off skipping school than serving detention if he forgot his ID.

Nobody who’s already welcomed a partner’s brother into their home for the better part of a year deserves to be accused of not supporting family, especially over something as minor as pacing sister visits reasonably.

Expressing hesitation about back-to-back weekends is about as normal of a boundary as boundaries get. Wanting her own personal space has nothing to do with how she feels about his family.

Comparing your current partner to your ex is almost never a good idea, but this boyfriend was either too selfish or too clueless to realize that.