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Helping someone in any way, but especially financially, can get really hard when the person you’re helping keeps ending up in the exact same situation again and again.

In this case, a man spent the past year and a half regularly helping his younger sister with money. Sometimes it was a little extra cash, but other times he covered rent, credit card bills, or medicine after his sister said she had nothing left.

Their mom encouraged the help, too, insisting that his younger sister would be lost without them.

So when the sister once again said she couldn’t afford her rent, he didn’t think much of it.

Then a friend saw her somewhere he definitely wasn’t expecting to see her.

Read the full story below.

AITA for stopping helping my sister with money after I found out where it was really going?

My younger sister is 24, and to be honest she’s had money problems her whole life.

Not because she’s had some kind of catastrophic run of bad luck, but because she just doesn’t know how to manage her life properly.

She might quit her job on a whim, take out a loan for some nonsense, then pretend everything’s fine for a couple of weeks, and then call me in the middle of the night in tears.

Over the past year and a half, I’ve given her a lot of money. Sometimes small amounts, sometimes I’d cover almost her entire rent.

A couple of times I helped with her credit card, bought her medicine, because she said she had health issues and no money at all.

He felt like it was his obligation.

My mom was constantly pressuring me, too.

She said it was hard for her, that she was the youngest, that without family she’d be completely lost.

Two weeks ago, my friend happened to see her in the arcade near the shopping center.

At first, he couldn’t believe it, because just the day before, she had told me that she didn’t have money for rent again and the landlord was already starting to pressure her.

But she was doing something their mom definitely didn’t suspect.

According to him, she had been sitting there playing the slot machines for almost an hour.

He just went over to say hi and ask if everything was okay.

Then her expression suddenly changed, and she told him to mind his own business.

Then she told him not to tell me anything at all, because he doesn’t understand the whole situation. My friend decided to tell me anyway because he was in shock himself.

He did confront her, peacefully.

I didn’t throw a fit.

I just called my sister and asked her straight out if she was gambling and if that’s where the money I constantly send her was going.

She immediately started yelling that I was crazy, that I was spying on her through my friends and trying to control her.

Then she said she wasn’t 15 anymore and had the right to do whatever she wanted.

But she never once gave a straight answer about the slot machines.

Things needed to change.

After that conversation, I decided I wouldn’t give her money directly anymore.

At most, I can order groceries, pay for something specific, or help her find a decent job, but I’m not going to transfer money to her card anymore.

Now she’s having trouble with her rent. The landlord has already warned her that if the payment isn’t made by the end of the week, she’ll have to move out.

Her mother calls me almost every day and says I’m pushing someone to the brink who’s already got enough problems.

But he’s on the fence.

And the worst part is that I still feel sorry for her. Because if she really gets evicted, she’ll most likely go live with her mother, and they can’t stand being together for more than two days.

Plus, I realize that this is starting to look like an addiction, not just plain stupidity.

But on the other hand, I feel like a total idiot.

Because while I was working my butt off and saving money to pay off my own debts, she was probably just blowing my money on slot machines and lying to my face for months.

AITA?

He’s right to be upset, and enabling her won’t help anyone. They need to have a serious conversation.

What did Reddit think?

Someone shares their thoughts.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Another reader chimes in.

Food for thought.

He cares about his sister, but things can’t continue the way they are. It would be bad for everyone.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a grandson who is tired of driving 5 hours one way to work on his grandparent’s investment property for free.

He can still help with groceries, specific expenses, and even finding her a job.

But he needs to stop handing her money when he can no longer trust where it’s going.

If she has an addiction, protecting her from consequences will only make her have even worse consequences to deal with in the future. It needs to be stopped ASAP.

Watching someone self-sabotage is extremely difficult, too.

She needs an intervention, not enablers.