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When a child becomes an adult, it is not healthy to continue to baby them and make your entire life revolve around what they want.

What would you do if your stepson was regularly calling his mom asking for things? Would it bother you if she forced both of you to drop everything to cater to her son’s every desire?

That is what is happening to the stepfather in this story, so he wants to establish some boundaries.

I think he is right, and that his wife is not doing her son any favors by having their whole life revolve around him. Read on to see what you think about what is happening.

Aitah for telling my wife that I think it’s rude that my stepson called at 10pm to ask if I had any pliers for his little project?

Like the subject asks, am I wrong for telling my wife that it’s rude for my stepson to call at 10pm to ask if I have pliers he can borrow for his little project he’s working on?

24 yo stepson lives in a detached unit on our property. He has been out of school for almost 8 years now and only got his GED after I bought him the study materials and the tests and essentially made him do it.

He’s had exactly 1 job that was part time and lasted about a month and a half before he was fired (may not have been his fault but all we have is his side and he’s never at fault for anything in his life, just ask him and he’ll tell you).

Mom is really babying this young man, which is not good for him.

My wife minimizes any and everything when it comes to him and babies him.

My problem is whenever he calls, our world stops while she feels with whatever it is. Doesn’t matter what it is, whether urgent or not.

His world has to revolve around his stepson.

Today, I’ve been busting my butt working around the house and she and I went out to Sam’s club and got home at 8.

By the time I get all done and sit down in my recliner it’s a little after 9.

He calls, our world stops as she talks to him about his medications and whether or not he wants something to eat.

They really need to set some boundaries.

I make a point of mentioning that it’s after 9 and he needs to decide pretty quickly if he needs to come eat or not and she agrees and relays the message.

She and I start streaming an episode of a TV show and at 10 he calls her to ask if I have any pliers he can use for a little project he’s working on.

I told her after the call that I thought it was rude. I’m perfectly ok if any of our children need something that they can call us whenever. I do not view this as a need, and definitely not at 10pm.

As soon as I say something she starts to minimize it saying that she’s up, so it’s ok for him to call.

He has every right to be upset.

My point is that our world stops when he calls. It’s not just impacting her, but also me.

It doesn’t really matter what it is, it’s never his fault.

He can’t find a job and is applying every day on indeed. I suggest he change up his process since indeed doesn’t appear to be working for him, and again, I’m the bad guy.

This is a very frustrating situation.

Am I wrong for expecting a little bit of uninterrupted R&R with my wife?

Am I wrong for suggesting that him applying to a few jobs online everyday is not cutting it in regards to his employment search?

AITA?

No, he needs to set some boundaries for his stepson, and his wife should be supportive of that. They need to be helping him to grow up, not enabling his dependence.

Check out the comments below to see what other people have to say about the situation on Reddit.

This commenter thinks that he doesn’t like his stepson.

He may be coming off as condescending.

There is no doubt that this is a difficult and sensitive situation.

Here is a commenter who is suggesting divorce, but I think that is very extreme.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister with a bad history who found herself staying in a hotel instead of with family.

This commenter thinks that he is wrong for what he is saying.

This kid needs to grow up, but that will never happen if mom won’t set boundaries. They need to stop letting him live there with no job or prospects.

Mom needs to love her son enough to force him to grow up, but that is very hard to do. Her husband does need to establish some boundaries, though.