Shutterstock

It’s a HUGE bummer when you live with someone who is always on your case about having guests over.

I understand that it can be pretty annoying sometimes, but that’s just something you have to deal with if you have roommates.

It’s as simple as that!

Well, at least it should be…

The woman who wrote this story is tired of one of her roommate’s antics and she’s not sure if she even wants to be friends with her anymore.

Take a look and see what you think.

Is this friendship with my roommate worth salvaging?

“I (21F) live with three other girls. Abby, Riley, and Clare (21/20/21F).

Clare does not like to go out but me, Abby, and Riley do. One night last year, Riley got pretty wasted and wanted to go home with this guy but her phone was dead and we told her it wasn’t safe.

She tried to leave with him secretly a few times but we redirected them. Overall, Riley was determined to go home with him.

Another friend suggested that Riley and the guy come to our shared apartment instead, so Riley could charge her phone and it would be safer.

Sure…

Me and Abby said yes, not thinking much of it but we just wanted to make sure she was safe. So Riley, Abby, and I went back to our apartment and the guy left an hour later.

The next morning I was telling Clare what happened and she burst into tears. She was really upset that there was a man in our apartment while she was sleeping and she didn’t know about. We had a roommate meeting and talked about the incident.

Okay, lesson learned…

Riley and Clare did not see eye to eye about it but Riley agreed to not bring a guy over again without notice. Clare said she had broke her trust and caused her a lot of anxiety, which we all understood and apologized for.

The next few weekends when we went out, Clare would text me and Abby (her friendship with Riley was kind of over at that point) about what time we were coming home and that she didn’t trust that we wouldn’t bring a guy home with us.

This was getting weird…

We reassured her but she stayed up in the living room until we got home and when we walked in the door she would go upstairs without saying anything to any of us, in tears.

A few weeks after the incident, Clare was giving me and Abby the silent treatment. When I asked her privately if she wanted to talk, she said that we didn’t seem to care about what happened anymore (because we were still going out) and when me, Abby, and Riley of us were laughing like nothing had happened, it made her upset.

She said she had lost trust in me and that she needed space.

Drama queen!

So for the next two months, me and Clare did not really talk despite living in the same room. Then one day she texted and said that she actually did trust me. When we talked about it in person, she said the three of us made her feel weird for not drinking.

When I asked how we did that, she said she didn’t know and it wasn’t anything specific, she just felt that way. After that, we started talking more but our relationship was definitely still strained and not as close as it was before.

Now we are living in different rooms (me in my own room and Clare and Abby in another, Riley moved out). I have a friend who doesn’t live close to downtown like I do, so when we go out I offer to let her sleep over in my room with me (which is private and not shared anymore).

Lighten up, Clare!

Whenever I ask the group chat if my friend can stay over, Clare asks a lot of questions about what we’re doing/where we’ll be in the apartment and is always very reluctant and defensive.

It makes me resent her because she is trying to have control over the entire apartment and who is in it, even if it’s just a friend in my own room.

If she’s not in class, she’s on the couch in the living room studying and doesn’t leave much, so it feels like she’s taking over the common spaces as well. She talks to me and Abby like she’s our parent and not a fellow roommate.

I understand that she anxiety about her boundaries being crossed, but I don’t think me wanting to have a friend that she has met before over is crossing them. I’m starting to really resent her and her need for control over everything and it’s making me not want to talk to her at all.

Should I bring this up as her friend or do I just let it go until she moves out and I don’t have to see her anymore?

Is this fixable?”

Folks shared their thoughts on Reddit.

This person weighed in.

Another person shared their thoughts.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about neighbors who intentionally tank an open house sale because they want to buy the property themselves.

And this reader didn’t hold back.

Jeez, what a buzzkill…

Especially for someone in their early twenties!

That’s when you’re supposed to be having fun!

Her friend really doesn’t know how to chill out and have a good time…