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Family should be there for each other during the hardest moments.
The following story involves a grieving woman who lost her husband and was now moving states with her children.
After spending hours unloading and unpacking, she asked her mother for help to pick up her nephew and drive him back to their house.
Her mother refused because of her anxiety, leaving the exhausted woman feeling hurt and unsupported.
Read the full story below for all the details.
AITA For being hurt that my mother didn’t help me?
My (35F) husband (35M) passed away a month and a half ago.
I had to pack up all of my belongings, all my children’s belongings, and move states in order to be closer to family.
I had zero support system where I was.
When I got where I am, a few family members came and helped me unload my boxes and furniture.
Then, they headed back to their jobs and lives.
It was so unbelievably helpful, as packing the truck all by myself was such a miserable experience.
This woman promised her sister she would drive back her son after all the unpacking.
My mother was not one of the people that helped me. No real reason, just didn’t come help.
It’s fine. She is 60 and couldn’t really unload boxes and furniture, so I wrote that off.
My older sister came and brought both of her sons to help.
I explained that I needed the oldest to stay and help me put up some shelves, and that I would drive him home after.
She agreed and took her middle son home.
However, she realized she couldn’t because she was so exhausted.
Cut to 5 hours later at 8:30 pm, it has been 13 hours of unloading furniture and boxes and unpacking.
My body hurts, I’m exhausted physically, emotionally, mentally. I’m just wiped.
So, I call my sister and ask her if she would come grab her son.
She apologizes profusely, but explains she started drinking some beer that she had in the fridge and couldn’t drive.
So, I call my mother and ask her if she could come and pick him up.
She snapped at her mom,
Without thought, consideration, and a moment of pause, she says:
“Brenda, I just can’t. I have such horrible anxiety driving at night.”
I won’t go into history, but this has been an issue with her for a while.
She is too feeble, too scared, too weak. Excuse after excuse.
So, I told her as much, that we are all sick and tired of hearing how she’s too unreliable to help us.
It’s gotten old, especially when she fully expects my sister and I to take care of her.
Now, she’s wondering if what she did and said was wrong.
I hoped and prayed she would see the misery her daughter was going through and would have gotten up and helped me.
I’m dumb for it, I know. But, now she is telling me I’m a jerk.
Because I didn’t put her feelings before mine and understand her anxiety.
Am I wrong for being hurt? Am I the jerk for not putting her anxiety before my exhaustion?
Her mom didn’t talk to her for 15 days.
Also, after the incident she ignored me for 15 days.
She didn’t reach out, didn’t call and check in on my children and I.
She hasn’t even seen my place since we got moved in and unpacked.
She just doesn’t seem to care about the load on my shoulders and heart.
Awww… Poor OP. She had already carried an enormous physical and emotional load.
Yet no one seemed to care or help her with such a little favor.
Her mother’s anxiety may be genuine, but ignoring her daughter for 15 days afterward only made the situation feel even more painful.
I think that needing support during a crisis does not make someone selfish. Do you agree?
Let’s find out what others have to say about this.
This person gives their honest opinion.
This user calls OP out too.
Here’s a valid point.
Another one chimes in.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who finally blew up after years of being treated as the second-best sibling.
Finally, people are saying the same thing.
During a family crisis, we all need a helping hand… not another excuse.
