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Family members can support each other without becoming financially responsible for one another.

In this story, a woman was asked by her sister to pay for their late mother’s elderly cat’s monthly medicines.

While she had already given her sister some money for the cat’s immediate vet costs, her sister wanted her to provide a monthly allowance for the cat.

As she had other financial obligations, she wondered whether refusing made her selfish.

Check out the full details below.

AITA need advice regarding my sister

I am 35 and need some advice regarding my sister, who is 40. We always had a great relationship.

About 10 years ago, I moved to a different country, where I met my now husband and had 2 kids.

My sister is single and lives alone in a small town. Our mom passed away 3 years ago, suddenly.

I couldn’t go to the funeral at the time, so I helped her the best I could, covering any expenses she could need.

This woman agreed to help her sister pay for the cat’s consultation and medicines.

My mom left an elderly cat.

At the time, my sister and I had a discussion about putting her for adoption, or if my sister could take her.

She decided to take her. I offered to help with the expenses, but she said there was no need.

Now, 3 years after, she sent me a message saying that she was in the vet with the cat.

She is struggling financially and needed help, and asked if I could pay for this consultation and medicines.

I agreed, didn’t even ask how much.

She told her sister she couldn’t do the monthly maintenance of the cat.

After that, she asked if I could pay for the medicines monthly, for life.

I told her I am currently paying mortgage, rent, and a renovation loan.

My budget was really tight, and I didn’t want to add a monthly expense now.

But I could help again in the future when I move to the new house and stop paying rent.

On top of that, my husband is self-employed and doesn’t work during the summer months.

So we are down a salary for a few months. He minds the kids.

Her sister got disappointed.

My sister got really upset, and said she never thought I would refuse help.

My salary is the same since 3 years ago, while hers is much higher than mine, relatively to the country.

And it has doubled since 3 years ago.

One more addition to this, when our mom passed, we got a good lump of money that was split between us.

I kept this money in a savings account.

My sister spent all her half and is now struggling to pay for the cat’s medicine? Ah please.

Now, she’s thinking about sending more money just to pacify the situation.

I asked her how much money she makes, and she didn’t reply, saying that it is not all about money.

She forgot I can look up online for her salary, since she has a public sector job.

So I know exactly how much is her net salary.

Am I being the jerk here? Should I send her money monthly anyway?

Heeeeelp!

I don’t think OP should commit to a monthly expense she cannot comfortably afford.

Helping a few times should be just fine, especially since she has other financial obligations.

Her sister may be struggling, but that does not automatically make the responsibility hers.

If you were in OP’s shoes, what would you do? Let’s see how others reacted to this story.

This person shares their personal thoughts.

Here’s another honest opinion.

This one advises caring for the cat, too.

Here’s a valid point.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a girl who thinks her family is doing too much in criticizing the tidiness in her small space.

Finally, another similar thought.

Helping family is great, but giving them monthly access to your budget may be too much.