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Moving in with a friend can seem like a great idea at first, but it often ends poorly because your expectations differ.

What would you do if you moved out of an apartment with your friend because it wasn’t working out? but now he wants you to sign over the lease to him before he pays you the money that he owes?

That is the situation that the man in this story finds himself in, and he doesn’t want to sign the lease over until he gets paid, or he fears that he won’t ever see his money.

Personally, I would want to get my name off that lease as soon as possible to remove any future liability. Then I would treat the money owed as a separate issue. Read through the full story below and see how you think he should handle it.

AITA for refusing to transfer my share of a rental bond unless I’m reimbursed immediately at time of transfer, even though my roommate (and friend) says he can’t afford it right now?

I (M, mid-20s) live in a shared rental in a major Aussie city with a roommate (M, early-20s). We are both co-tenants on the lease.

Living with someone is very different from being friends with them.

I’ve already moved into a new place, but am still paying rent here until the lease ends. I chose not to renew mainly due to ongoing issues with my roommate, but he wants to stay in the property.

I originally agreed to live together because we are friends and he was still a student at the time.

Over the course of the tenancy, there have been ongoing issues with shared living responsibilities and boundaries, including frequent use/damage of my belongings without asking, significant amounts of my food being taken without replacement and leaving rotting food/dirty dishes out for extended periods.

It is important to get taken off that lease.

While he is not a bad person and we are otherwise friends, the living situation has not been sustainable for me.

The issue now is the bond transfer. The real estate requires a simultaneous transfer of lease and bond liability. This means I would be removed from the bond at the same time he becomes responsible for it. There is currently no replacement tenant, so he would effectively be taking on my bond share directly.

He should want to get off that lease as soon as possible, or what he owes could go up each month.

I’ve said I will only agree to sign the transfer paperwork if I’m reimbursed at the same time. This is because once I’m off the bond I have no practical way to recover the money later. I’ve already had to pay a new rental bond for my next place ($~2000 AUD) and cannot afford to be left out of pocket.

I also gave over two months’ notice that I would not be renewing, and told him early on that it would likely be difficult to find someone to take over my share of the rent, so he may need to consider a more affordable arrangement.

This situation is unsustainable.

He only started actively looking a few days ago. For context, the rent is high (~$690/week total). I cover about 60% while he pays 40%.

His share is roughly what he would pay in a share house. But this property is significantly nicer and more spacious than typical share housing at that price point.

Get what is owed in writing, and then sign the lease over to the friend.

I do empathise with his financial situation, and I was also a broke student not long ago, and he has been a good friend to me previously.

However, I’ve also seen a pattern where he has struggled to manage money and repayment timelines. And he continues to splurge on gaming equipment, new clothes and daily take out.

If this person left before the lease ends, he is responsible for paying it, unless they agreed otherwise.

On multiple occasions with myself or mutual friends, he has also previously agreed to repay money owed, but later either significantly delayed repayment or refused to pay at all. So ,I’m not comfortable with any delayed repayment arrangement.

I have offered flexibility by saying I’m happy to delay the paperwork by another month (when the lease ends), but he is still asking for repayment to happen later in the year.

It seems to me that getting off the lease would ensure he isn’t financially responsible for him anymore.

I don’t want to put undue stress on him, but I can’t continue being financially liable for him and the property.

Am I wrong for refusing to sign unless I’m reimbursed at the same time, even though I understand he’s struggling financially?

AITA?

This is a confusing situation since as long as he is on the lease, he is legally responsible for the rent. If that is the case, why wouldn’t he want to get off the lease right away and deal with any owed money separately?

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

Nothing is going to change in his finances. Don’t let go of the leverage.

This does seem like an odd situation, but if this is how to get his money back, he should do it.

He isn’t going to pay if he doesn’t have to. Holding on to leverage is a good idea. Even if it hurts the friendship.

His friend is taking advantage of him. That is the sad reality.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a frustrated tenant whose landlord says she can only move out with her roommate.

This commenter says not to give up his leverage. I agree with him if that is the only option.

Demanding payment while you still have leverage is important. Unfortunately, it seems that by delaying the signing of the lease, he is also keeping some liability for the apartment in his name.

He is in a difficult situation, to be sure, but doing what is in his own best interests is not wrong.