The Younger Brother Who Spent Years Planning the Ultimate Revenge on His Siblings

Ashley Ashbee

6 minutes ago

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I could intro this story by exploring the history of sibling-to-sibling battles, but instead I’m just going to say this might gross you out.

It also might make you cheer. Take a look at this brave, awesome soul!

Are you going to eat that?

When I was in late elementary, early middle school I had a lot of emotions and not a lot of time to be used to them yet.

I also had 3 older brothers, the closest age gap being four years. To say I was on the bottom of the hierarchy was no exaggeration.

I scrunched up my nose reading this disgusting part…

They tormented me relentlessly. To top it all off I was a certified germaphobe.

The youngest of my older brothers went through a very short phase of stabbing his dirty, nasty finger into my food and saying, “Are you going to eat that?”

I say a short phase because he quickly found out that it wasn’t worth my revenge. I once shoved a donut hole into his face so hard he fell off the kitchen chair.

This wasn’t the end of their food war. Something tells me the older bro is in high school.

But one time my revenge was particularly petty and the very last time he put his finger in my food as kids.

We were eating at a restaurant called Perkins that was known for having a little bakery case at the front. My mom would allow us to order dessert at Perkins.

I would always get one sugar cookie and my brother would get a piece of banana cream pie.

We get our dessert and immediately my brother stabs his finger into my cookie and says, “Are you going to eat that?”

Fortunately for OP, most desserts are messy!

I was so done.

I reached over, grabbed his piece of banana pie, smushed it in my fist and dropped it back onto his plate. Then I smacked him (lightly) on the cheek leaving a smear of pie on his face and said, “Are you going to eat that???”

Mom was horrified and kinda ticked. Even when we talk about it to this day she’s not thrilled about it.

I was extremely gratified when mom flagged down the waitress for some napkins and the waitress took my side and said, “He deserved it.”

This reminds me that even today I get my sister worse after she does something unpleasant to me. (In jest!)

My brother never did it again. Until years later as adults in our 30s. I was buttering a piece of banana bread at the family Christmas (my brother’s favorite).

He stabbed his finger into it and said, “Are you going to eat that?” I looked at him so quick and so sharp that he immediately said in a sort of panic, “I’ll eat it, I’ll eat it!”

So I handed it to him and grabbed another.

And I’ll admit that panic on his face gave me a smug satisfaction all those years later.

Here is what folks are saying.

Bullies are usually wimps. You were kind!