Shutterstock

Parenting is probably the hardest job on earth partly because there’s no user manual, and also partly because how parents raise their child can have a huge impact on that person’s life when they grow up.

What would you do if you realized you had really messed up with a parenting decision but there was no way to go back and fix it? If your adult child wouldn’t even talk to you, would you leave them alone or keep trying to repair the relationship?

In this story, one couple is in this situation. They were trying to punish their son for being a bully, but they realize they didn’t handle it well at all. Now, he doesn’t even want to speak to them, and they disagree about how to try to repair the relationship.

I think the dad needs to back off. Keep reading to see if you agree.

AITA for telling my husband to stop asking our son for money, even though he regrets how we treated him in the past?

Our son (24M) has always had a complicated relationship with us, but he’s very close to his aunts, my husband’s younger sisters.

When he was a teenager, he got into serious trouble for bullying another kid at school.

My husband and I didn’t know how to handle it, so we decided to punish him by not getting him anything for his 16th and 17th birthdays.

We thought we were teaching him a lesson, but looking back, we realize it only drove him further away.

Their son is definitely holding a grudge.

After that, our son became more distant, and I still remember when he coldly told us we would regret how we treated him.

We didn’t take him seriously at the time, but now it’s clear that his words weren’t just a teenage outburst.

Now, at 24, our son is financially successful but has cut us off entirely.

You can’t change the past.

When my husband had a medical emergency recently, we were struggling with the bills and reached out to him for help. He flatly refused, telling us to “back off.”

This crushed my husband, who deeply regrets the way we handled things back then and wishes he could go back and make it right.

Our son has a peculiar tendency to spoil all the women he considers family.

He made amends with the girl he bullied in high school, and they’re now good friends.

It seems that their son is on good terms with everyone except them, the parents.

He also lavishes attention and financial support on my husband’s younger sisters—his aunts.

They told us that he said he doesn’t care who they help, even if it’s us, but despite this, they’re still hesitant to get involved.

They’ve only helped us out a couple of times and are clearly reluctant to do more, likely because they don’t want to jeopardize their close relationship with him.

Her husband disagrees with her about how to handle this situation.

My husband is heartbroken.

He’s trying to reconnect with our son, but every time he reaches out for help or to mend things, he’s met with anger or silence.

I finally told my husband to stop asking our son for money. I feel like every time we ask, we push him further away, and I’m terrified that we’ll never have a chance to repair our relationship if we keep this up.

My husband is upset with me now, feeling like I’m giving up on our son. He’s filled with regret and sadness over how things have turned out, but I just don’t know what else to do. AITA

If they’re trying to reconnect with their son, they definitely shouldn’t do it by asking him for money! That makes it seem like they only care about him because they want something from him.

Let’s see if Reddit agrees.

This person thinks they only care about their son’s money.

Another person thinks she needs to accept responsiblity.

I wonder if they’ve even tried to apologize.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who offered to buy his parents a house with his lottery winnings, only to find out they think they deserve half of all his winnings.

It does sound like their son actually turned out really well.

They should be proud of their son. The fact that he is doing well financially, has a good relationship with other family members and has even made amends with the person he used to bully really says a lot.

They should also stop asking their son for money. If they really want to repair the relationship, money shouldn’t even be brought up.

I’m not sure if they actually care about their son or not.