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There are some family topics that become off-limits the moment someone repeatedly asks you to stop discussing them. One woman apparently never got that memo—and after years of questioning her sister-in-law’s decision not to marry the father of her child, she finally got a response she definitely wasn’t prepared for.

OP says his wife routinely pressures his sister to reconcile with her ex, despite the two having a healthy co-parenting relationship and his sister repeatedly making it clear she isn’t interested. During a recent visit, his wife took things even further by suggesting other parents might see his sister as immature and her son as “illegitimate.”

His sister promptly fired back with a series of brutal insults about his wife’s weight. OP froze rather than defending either woman—and now his wife is furious that her husband didn’t immediately take her side.

AITAH for not defending my wife when my sister called her fat?

My sister (27F) was visiting my wife (32F) and me (33M) the other day. An important thing to note about my sister is that she has a child (5M) with her now ex-boyfriend (27M).

When my sister found out she was pregnant, she told her then boyfriend that she was pregnant. He wanted to marry her in a shotgun wedding of sorts, but my sister said no.

The only information she offered up was that there was no way they would be compatible in the long term, and I don’t think its any of my buisness to probe or question her about it.

Fair.

Soonly after, my sister and her boyfriend broke up, but they established a healthy co-parenting relationship, and both now have 50-50 custody with stable, well-paying jobs, and live close-by to each other.

My wife strongly thinks that my sister should have gotten married, and hates that my sister refers to her ex-boyfriend as her “baby daddy.”

I don’t think my sister really cares that she had a child out of wedlock, but every time my wife meets my sister, she brings up the fact that she should try to get her boyfriend back and ask him to propose again and asks why she does not want to marry him, especially since my sister has been single these past 5 years.

Sounds like none of her business.

It has gotten to the point that she has told me privately that she is fed up with this and has asked me to speak to my wife about this, which I have.

The other day, my sister visited my wife and I at our house. We were having a normal conversation, and my sister was talking about her son entering kindergarten, and all the ways she was preparing him.

The convo seemed pretty mundane, until my wife once again brought up that my sister should try to get married at the courthouse with her ex-boyfriend, and that the other parents would view her as immature and would think of her child as “illegitimate” if she didn’t.

Oh boy.

Before I could even jump in and say anything to difuse the situation, my sister was raging, and said that my wife should “worry about her fat self and losing 100 pounds” before worrying about her child and that “a ring can’t hide her triple chin and to worry less about her going to the courthouse and more about the gym.”

My wife has always been on the bigger side, and I absolutely love and adore her, but it is one of her biggest insecurities.

She ended up sobbing while my sister grabbed her things and left. This whole argument took around two minutes, and I froze up and didn’t really know what to do.

Can we say “messed up”?

After my sister left, my wife asked why I didn’t say anything to defend her to my sister. I was honest and said I thought that she was wrong for calling my sister “immature” and her child illegitimate.

While I acknowledged it was wrong for my sister to make the comments she did, I don’t think they were completely unprovoked.

My wife is now giving me the silent treatment. So, Reddit, AITA?

This person says everyone’s in the wrong.

This person agrees.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who finally blew up after years of being treated as the second-best sibling.

And this person says OP is the AH, but not for the reason they might think.

If you keep telling someone how to run their family, you probably shouldn’t be shocked when they start offering unsolicited advice of their own.