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“It’s Not Fair You Have More”: Family War Erupts After Siblings Demand Single Sister Hand Over Money

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Many people choose to start a family when they become adults. They get married and have kids. But this lifestyle isn’t right for everyone.

Imagine growing up in a family with lots of siblings, and all of them grow up and have kids of their own. Would you do the same thing, or would you be so sick of being around kids all the time that you’d decide to choose a different path?

In this story, one sibling decides to go to college, not get married, and not have kids. That leaves her with a lot more extra money than her siblings, who all have families to support.

Now, her siblings are making her feel guilty about not sharing her wealth.

The thing is, she’s not wealthy. She just doesn’t have as many people to provide for, and she doesn’t want to help her siblings out.

However, she’s wondering if that makes her a bad person and if she should be willing to help out her siblings who are struggling financially.

Keep reading for the whole story.

Aitah because I will not help out my siblings financially since we all earn about the same money?

I grew up in a large family. I have seven siblings. So ten of us all together when we include my parents.

I love each and every one of them individually.

As a group I hate them.

I hated growing up with them. I hated being port despite my dad making good money. I hated the wait for the bathroom. I hated sharing a room. I hated having no social life because I had to help with my younger siblings.

The siblings all wanted to be parents.

Most of all I hated that I knew all of my siblings were going to do the same thing.

My oldest brother started his family straight out of college. While in a fair bit of debt from said education.

My oldest sister didn’t bothe with college and had her first two months after graduation from high school. That’s my nephew Ryan. He got added to the like of kids I had to help with whenever she came over to visit.

I knew by age six I was never going to have kids.

OP went behind her family’s back to choose a different life.

I knew it would make me an oddity in my family.

I knew my parents couldn’t afford to help with my education. So I did it for myself.

I got an academic scholarship. Not to an elite university or anything like that. But not in my home town.

I didn’t tell anyone. I had to threaten my school counselor with dropping out to get her to understand how serious I was about her not contacting my family to discuss my future.

Here’s what OP’s life looks like now.

Well I’m 34 now and the outcast in my family.

I have a big dumb dog called Howard. He is old but our walks are the highlight of most of my days. All my neighbors know is and he loves getting attention from everyone.

My siblings have 22 children between them. And are all either working way too hard to support themselves and their families or popping out kids.

Howard and I come to visit all the time. I have a lot of flexibility with my career so we roadtrip to see my family and stay at a hotel so we can GTFO whenever we want.

She loves helping out her parents.

I take my parents out to restaurants and outings when I visit.

There is an excellent doggy daycare that caters to my boy’s needs when he can’t join us.

I also help them out with emergency cash if warranted.

But she doesn’t want to help her siblings.

I was very clear that if I ever found out they took money from me that I had given them for themselves and they gave it to my siblings I would not ever give them money again.

They said the money was a gift and not my business how they spent it.

I just repeated my warning.

My siblings all found out.

She broke it down for her siblings.

They said I have lots of money and I could afford to help.

I drew them each a picture with crayons on construction paper. It very clearly explained how me not spending all my time and money having children I cannot afford leaves money on the table for me to spend on a great apartment and a car big enough for Howard and I.

Yes I know this was a jerk move. I’m not asking about this.

I then explained that my money wasn’t enough to make any difference in all their lives. There are 35 of them all together. Two parents, two kids in college. Ten people in marriages, and twenty one freaking kids. 35 people. My salary will not make a dent in all.their needs.

She was willing to help her youngest sister but with one condition.

I made it clear that my money was not for them.

I only got a response from my youngest sister. She is in community college and she is being pressed about when she is going to get married and have kids. JFC.

I told her that I would help her if she promised to finish her education and not have kids for at least two years after graduating.

Apparently, that was too much to ask.

She said that was going to be tough with all the pressure.

I told her to think about it and let me know.

She got pregnant and didn’t graduate. 36 now.

Everyone in her family is struggling.

The economy my siblings are living in is not the same one our parents raised us in.

My brother is in danger of foreclosure.

My sister is twenty and living with her husband’s family while he finishes college.

The rest all fall somewhere in between.

It’s not that she earns more than her siblings.

I’m the only one who got out.

And they are constantly begging for help since I have so much.

I don’t. I earn less than my brother. I just don’t have a spouse and five kids to support.

She feels bad but realizes she can’t help them all.

I feel bad when Howard and I go on vacation and stuff. But the money I spend split 36 ways will buy them each one week of groceries. What happens next week you know?

I feel bad about not helping them more but I know if I give in it will never stop.

Am I a jerk for not at least trying to help?

They made choices. They’re dealing with the consequences. She made a different choice and has an easier life. It’s not her responsibility to share her money with her siblings just because they made different life choices.

Let’s see if Reddit agrees.

Yes, I hope she realizes this.

Here’s a warning not to help them out.

Another person is on her side.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a woman who got family pushback after gifting jewelry to her stepdaughter.

Nobody thinks she should help out her siblings.

If she doesn’t want to give money to her siblings, she shouldn’t give money to her parents. Maybe treat them to dinner, but don’t give them cash that they could turn around and give to someone else.

Her siblings are jealous that she’s not struggling financially, but they made choices that make their lives more expensive than hers. That doesn’t mean that she owes them anything.

Her siblings sound awful.

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