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Financial boundaries matter before marriage.
In this story, one fiancée sees four adults eyeing her paycheck.
A failing family business makes the future look expensive.
Her partner calls her heartless.
Read on for the full breakdown.
AITA for setting a boundary with my fiancé and his family?
My partner Q (27M) and I N (30F) have been in a relationship for 2 years of which we have been engaged for 8 months. I have a kid (7F) who we will call K, and Q is not her biological father.
This MIGHT be relevant. I worked hard when I had my daughter and have managed to get my own place, my degree and a permanent position at a university.
He works for his parents’ recycling business, which is starting to decline because of bigger companies taking over.
Hmmm…
Q’s parents are aware that the business is not doing well, but despite this they (47F and 72M) have decided that they do not want to work anymore and that he should take over and make sure that it earns enough money to sustain them.
They are currently renting and did not make provision for retirement.
I am scared that the business will not be successful and that my partner will not have an income, so I have been trying to encourage him to look for a full time job while his mother who is still able to work oversees the business alongside him.
Getting ahead of it.
This is stressing me out because there is an unspoken expectation that I will take care of all of them when the business inevitable fails and I am not willing to because there is and has been more than enough time for them to make provisions.
He also has a sister (19F) who sits at home whole day and is not working, and there is no expectation to work, yet they seem content with me working to provide for everyone.
I have said that I refuse to take care of anyone besides my child now he says I am heartless for not being willing to help when the time comes. I do not feel like it is my responsibility. Thoughts?
Boundaries are set, tensions are high, and accusations of selfishness are flying—but she’s not budging, refusing to let her life become everyone else’s safety net.
This person says to get out, NOW.
This person says Mom is, well, a pyscho.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who held up her end of a college savings bargain only to be ripped off by her scheming older sibling.
And this person gives an ultimatum.
OP refused to become the financial safety net for her fiancé, his parents, and his unemployed sister.
Commenters urged her to pause the wedding, protect her daughter, and demand a realistic plan before combining finances.
That engagement came with four surprise dependents.