Pexels

There are a lot of great things about living with roommates. You have company most of the time, and if they’re people you get on with then all the better. Obviously there’s a financial incentive, as living with others is much cheaper than living in the same space alone, giving you other folk to share the bills with – but there’s a lot more to it than that. Maybe you can afford to live much closer to work or school as a result, and if you have a good balance with the folk you live with, you likely share the chores equally too. It’s a situation that you might miss when you do eventually move on to living alone.

But for some people, particularly those who are introverted or more easily overstimulated, roommates can also come with some drawbacks. Their company might be a bit much at times, and feeling like you want to be alone but knowing that there will likely be others in the kitchen and living room can be exhausting to say the least. Not to mention they sometimes make a mess in those common areas, the food they cook might be overpowering, and they quite likely make a lot of noise at times too.

But with some solid boundaries and open communication, it’s almost always possible to negotiate and make things work so that everyone in the house is able to live happily and comfortably together.

Unfortunately for the guy in this story, negotiations with his roommate tend to involve the other guy dictating the rules, leaving this guy to either fight or simply agree with the other guy’s demands.

Read on to find out what got his roommate so upset this time.

Am I overreacting about my religious roommate trying to control my love life?

I (23, male) have a roommate (27, male) who is very Christian.

In the house that we live in, he lives in the basement floor and I live upstairs on the ground floor.

The house is old so I know he can hear me walking around and probably conversations as well.

Let’s see how this is affecting the younger guy’s love life.

My girlfriend (21, female) and I have been together since August.

My roommate really doesn’t like her coming over, and he has brought it up to the both of us that he is very against sleepovers and intimacy before marriage. It genuinely infuriates him.

Mind you, my girlfriend and I are not loud people, and we’re respectful and quiet when we are together.

But this has caused a real problem between the roommates.

The other night, when we finished up, he immediately texted me that he wanted to talk outside about something that’s bothering him.

He was furious, pacing back and forth, saying he will not allow that in his household (he doesn’t own the house, we rent from the owners) reminding me that my room is right above his living room (it was 10pm and he said he could hear us while making dinner).

He basically said we’re no longer allowed to be intimate there and can only do it at my girlfriends place.

I didn’t want to escalate the situation so I kinda just let it be.

However, this isn’t sitting well with him now.

But now that I’m thinking about it, I pay the same rent he does, am respectful in every aspect, and to top it all off, WE ARE GROWN ADULTS. If it were me and I could hear it, I’d simply put headphones on and mind my business.

But he’s known for doing this to other roommates as well – he used to record and complain to the previous tenant when he was clearing his throat cause it bothered him so much.

I kinda need to stay at this place as well, as it fits into my budget and is close to school.

How can I phrase a conversation basically stating that I’ll do what I want in my own house, to someone that is extremely close minded and refuses to change his mind on the matter?

Yikes, this roommate is seriously overstepping.

He might not agree with intimacy before marriage, so he doesn’t have to engage in any such activities – but his faith doesn’t give him the right to dictate what others do with their lives.

It’s crazy that he thinks that he gets to make the rules here.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person thought that the guy needed to mind his own business.

While others thought that they basically aren’t even roommates.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who shuts down her neighbor’s construction project after her property gets damaged.

Meanwhile, this Redditor gave him tips on how to handle the situation.

The fact that they don’t even share common areas makes the other guy’s complaints all the more ridiculous. He has no right at all to dictate how others behave in their own home – sure he might think that they’ll go to hell or whatever, but that’s honestly none of his business. He can carry on living his own life, following his faith and beliefs in the way that he chooses, and that is his prerogative. But he doesn’t get to chastise the guy living above him for not having the same beliefs, especially given the guy and his girlfriend are making deliberate attempts to be quiet so as not to disturb him.

Given the previous complaints he’s had about other tenants doing normal human things like clearing their throats, it seems like he’s the problem here. It’s not really to do with his religion, that’s just an excuse for why he has a problem with these particular sounds. Really, it’s that he struggles to tolerate noise from the folks living in adjacent units.

And that’s fine, some people really struggle with noise, but he perhaps needs to rethink where he’s living if that’s the case. Because other people make noise. Get over it.