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When someone is adopted into a family, it can be a real blessing, but in almost all cases, it is important to tell them as soon as they are old enough to know.

What would you do if you had an uncle who was adopted, but he didn’t know that until your grandma accidentally told him? Then, he got upset with you because you had known for years, but you assumed he knew too?

That is what happened to the young woman in this story, and she doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but he still won’t speak with her.

Personally, I think the uncle is just working his way through this major news and will eventually realize that she didn’t do anything wrong. Read through the full story and see what you think.

AITA for not telling my uncle that he is adopted

My uncle (37m) and I (22f) have gotten into a ”’disagreement” over him being adopted.

Let’s see what happened here.

A little backstory: my grandma has a brother; he and his wife have two children.

The oldest child is my uncle, who comes from a previous relationship, but my grandma’s brother has always treated him as his own.

It is almost never a good idea to hide that someone is adopted.

They never told him that he isn’t his biological child, because at the time when they were getting married, my uncle was very little, so he wouldn’t even remember.

My grandma is a very sweet woman, and I know she means no harm, but recently when my uncle and his fiancée were visiting her house, she made a very unfortunate joke.

Oh no. This must have been shocking to him.

She jokingly said to my uncle’s fiancée while he was sitting next to them, that if she were younger she would want to date him too.

My uncle then said that they’re related, so she wouldn’t be able to do that, which she answered by saying ”’Well you’re adopted, so technically we’re not tied by blood.”

Everyone seemed to know except for him.

My uncle proceeded to ask her what she means by that, and my grandma told him the whole story. He and his fiancée left and haven’t spoken to my grandma or his parents since.

The problem is that I work in the same company as my uncle as an intern, so I see him daily. When we bumped into each other in the break room, he started telling me all about this drama, and I asked him ”Wait you didn’t know?”

How would she have known to tell him, even if she wanted to?

Now he’s angry at me too, but I truly thought that he had known about this, since the whole family does know.

He hasn’t spoken to me since, and I’ve noticed that some people at work (the ones that are friends with him) started treating me coldly and purposly giving me harder tasks.

AITA?

This is a very awkward situation. Her uncle is likely just lashing out because he was legitimately wronged. Give him some time to process it.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

He needs to process this information.

She really did nothing wrong here.

It really wasn’t her job to tell him.

He really was wronged by the family, even if it wasn’t her.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who doesn’t want to help his sister cover their aging father’s groceries.

This commenter says she should apologize.

The family really did him wrong, but that wasn’t her fault. She should apologize for how he found out because she feels bad, not because she did anything wrong.

Hopefully, he will get over it and realize that his anger is misplaced.