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Have you ever agreed to do a favor for a friend but later had to back out? In a situation like that, would you feel like it’s reasonable that circumstances change, or would you feel bad about changing the plan?

In this story, one landscaping apprentice is feeling pretty conflicted about his decision to back out of helping a friend of a friend on a project. He was getting paid but not much considering all of the work he was doing. Now, the real work hasn’t even started yet, and he’s realized he doesn’t have time to take on this project.

He feels bad about backing out, but he also knows it’s the only reasonable solution for him at the moment.

Keep reading to see if you think he should’ve handled this situation differently.

AITA for cancelling a job on a client (landscaper)

I’m a 4th year landscaping apprentice, work 6 days a week.

This was meant to be helping a mate’s mate on my only free day (Sunday).

About 2 months ago I agreed to help remove a timber retaining wall and replace it with a concrete sleeper wall.

From day one I told him my job comes first and I’m usually only free 1 day a week.

He did a lot of work before even really starting the project.

He only wanted to pay a labour day rate, but I did ~10–15 hours unpaid: planning the wall, working out sleeper/post sizes and concrete, and ordering posts/sleepers to his place.

He admitted he had no idea how to do a retaining wall, so I was basically designing and running it.

He was busy the first 2 weekends, so the start got pushed back ~3 weeks. Then 2 days before we were meant to start he decides he’ll DIY the demolition.

He doesn’t actually start pulling the old wall out until the day we were supposed to start the new one, doesn’t finish, and discovers the existing posts are tied into the deck. The spec changes and I have to ring the steel place and change the order.

Time has passed, and OP is rethinking his involvement in this project.

Then I hear nothing for about 3 weeks.

It’s now nearly 2 months since first contact and about 1 month out from Christmas.

Nov–Feb is our crazy busy period at work, I’m doing Saturdays and some Sundays and the company trucks are booked on our jobs. I’ve got very little free time and no guaranteed access to trucks for his job.

When he finally gets back to me I tell him I’m not comfortable anymore – the deck/post situation has made it more complex and it feels out of my experience for something I’m doing basically solo on Sundays.

Now, his friend wants to get the project going.

He rings asking if I can do it that coming weekend.

I say no, I’m working Saturday and already have plans Sunday, and repeat that I’m not confident.

The next morning he texts saying my coworker is coming that afternoon so we can START on the weekend… even though I’d just said I’m not free.

At that point I’d done a heap of unpaid planning and waited through his delays for nearly 2 months. Him ignoring my availability was the last straw.

He didn’t back down.

I text (politely) that I can’t do the wall anymore, or at least not until March when work slows down. I still offer to help order the posts correctly and give him my plan so he can DIY or hand it to another tradie.

He replies that I accepted a job and “pulled out halfway through”, says it’s bad of me, and finishes with “back off mate”.

My boss knows the whole story, needs me for our jobs, and is 100% on my side.

I genuinely don’t have time or trucks right now.

But he’s having second thoughts.

Maybe I could’ve said earlier, “If the job gets delayed or the specs change, I might not be available anymore,” but that’s about it.

I’m pretty anxious and a people-pleaser so my brain keeps telling me I’ve let him down, which is why I’m posting.

Did I screw him over, or is this just someone wanting fast, cheap and high-quality all on their terms when that was never realistic?

He was doing a friend a favor, but the timeline and the amount of work doesn’t work for him anymore. His friend can be upset about it, but he’ll have to hire someone else.

Let’s see if Reddit agrees.

This person thinks he made the right decision.

Another person would’ve done the same thing.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who gets problematic overtime changes reversed by pointing out how it will harm the company’s bottom line.

This person is on his side.

Nobody thinks he did anything wrong.

It’s not like he changed his mind for no reason. The job got delayed and was more work than he expected. Those are both significant factors in this situation. Now, he doesn’t have the time or confidence to help. It’s reasonable to walk away.