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When a parent is dealing with a serious medical issue, it is good to help them in any way that you can.

What would you do if you were providing your father with around-the-clock medical care, but he refused to get an MRI that would (hopefully) confirm the diagnosis that would allow insurance to pay for in-home medical costs?

That is what happened to the son in this story, so he told his Dad that he would no longer be helping him until he got the test done, but he wonders if he is in the wrong for holding his care hostage like this.

Personally, I think he is doing the right thing. He needs to get his Dad to take that test one way or another. Read through the full story below to see if you agree.

AITA for refusing to help my father with palsy whom won’t follow up with doctors and medication?

My father has Progressive Supra Nuclear Palsy, a rare neurodegenerative disease.

He is really going above and beyond for his father.

The last whole year, I’ve been his care taker I help wake him up from the bed, I prepare his daily bowl of apples and iced coffee, I take him to the bathroom help him sit on the toilet and when he’s done pick him up back to the living room, I help drive him to the bank when he need to, I help him go to bed, I help him with medication.

I’ve been helping him around the clock. He needs to pee every 3 hours because he has some bladder issue. (Yes, including in the middle of the night) so I’ve had an alert button installed next to his bed and sofa chair where if he can push a button I can help him.

Many people hate hospitals, but sometimes they are necessary.

We had gone to a neurologist, but in order for us to get home care, we need a diagnosis, which can’t be done without a contrast MRI.

My dad is refusing to do a contrast MRI. He doesn’t want to be admitted in the hospital (that was his first excuse) we tried with his doctor and she managed to give us a slot where he can do contrast the exact same day, no admission needed.

It might be time to get a power of attorney or other legal document in place.

Now that his excuses is gone, he doesn’t want to inject the contrast material, claiming that it’s harmful. Which is stupidity beyond stupid. My mom had done a contrast MRI before and my dad knows it’s, she’s fine.

He just doesn’t want to follow up with doctors at all, unless he’s in immense physical pain.

It is easy to see why he is so frustrated.

Short story my dad is relying on me do the heavy lifting for him (which I don’t care) but he doesn’t want to do an MRI so that he can get home care, which lifts the load from me.

The day he is supposed to do the MRI he refuses, so I got so mad, I basically yelled and shouted at him and my mom and sister step in telling me to quit it. (They don’t disagree that my dad refusing to do the MRI is bad)

You can’t keep helping people who won’t help themselves.

Told him he can crawl to the bathroom on his own and that my mom and sister can help you if you want help.

I removed the Alert button speaker from my office and bedroom and give to him. Told him help yourself if you really actually don’t need help.

There is no reason to keep allowing his Dad to dictate how things go.

Am I the in the wrong for refusing to further placate my dad’s disability when he’s refusing to follow up with doctors and relying on me for care?

AITA?

It is great that he is willing to help his father, but it is not unreasonable to expect his father to do his part too. In this case, that means getting a diagnosis so that he can get the medical care he needs.

Read through what the top commenters have to say about this story.

It is really inconsiderate of the father.

Setting boundaries can be difficult.

If his dad is too proud to get help, he needs to get over it.

This commenter’s grandfather had this debilitating disease.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend group that’s split when one roommate backs out of their dream apartment.

Apparently, Dad doesn’t need the help.

He needs to push his father to get that test, even if it means not caring for him. There is no way this son can maintain the level of care that he was providing, so it is only a matter of time until he has to stop, anyway.

If he gets the MRI, they will have someone else there who can step in to assist.