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He Was Asked to Lead the Family Land Restoration Project—Then They Sidelined Him for a Distant Cousin and Expected Free Consulting

contemplative young man with arms crossed

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Family favors feel different when the people asking once passed you over for the exact same work.

This architect spent months offering to help relatives with their projects, only to watch them quietly hire another family member instead.

So when his career finally takes off and those same relatives come back begging for assistance, he is not exactly eager to reconnect.

See why saying no now feels less like revenge and more like protecting the business he built.

AITA for siding with my mom about not working for his family (Aunts and Grandparents), after they begged me to do so?

I graduated from architecture school two years ago, I am the first architect in my immediate family and they always knew that fact while I was studying in college.

My mom side two aunts and their husbands, as well as my grandparents, are fortunately doing well financially and have had construction and remodeling projects in the past few years.

Things were great at first…

They had told me if I would be happy to participate and that they would help me get into construction projects more deeply.

I had explicitly told them I would like to help, I wasn’t even interested in payment. As a recent graduate, I was focused on building a portfolio of projects and immersing myself in new challenges.

Time passed, and none of them gave me any news.

He wasn’t expecting that!

When I visited them, I got to ask, and they only told me that I could certainly participate. Months went by from the tentative dates they told me, and no one said anything.

I even asked them directly via text messages when I could take a look at things. I didn’t care if they were working with another firm, but I was excited to help them with the smallest details.

Neither my aunts nor my grandparents said anything to me, and I assumed they didn’t need my help.

Months passed, and I learned that they had deliberately agreed with a very distant cousin, who isn’t even in the state and was also a recent architecture graduate, to help them carry out their projects.

They’re so mean!

That decision of not trusting me, as their close family, in addition to other mental issues I’d been carrying, caused me to hit rock bottom for several long months, during which I had to undergo therapy because I wasn’t in a comfortable place mentally.

Fortunately, things took a turn for the better.

Last year, I landed a job at a prestigious local firm with various hotel and vertical housing projects, something that’s more difficult to find formative experiences.

He was able to bounce back!

I also began to get clients for projects I manage on my own, and my portfolio began to grow.

I won a national award that I earned during my education, and I’m doing better than ever financially.

My grandparents and aunts have started writing to me saying they need help making changes to projects they were working on for months.

They need him now!

They’ve been writing to me insistently and now they even begged me that they’ll pay me for the projects.

My mother, besides being upset with her family, accepts my reasons for not wanting to help them and tells me she’s fine with whatever I need.

My brother, on the other hand, makes me think and tells me that maybe I should give them a chance.

Now he’s conflicted!

Personally, I don’t mind burning that bridge I might have with them, and I wouldn’t mind having to turn down clients who I feel might be bad for my business.

What do you think, AITA?

GEEZ! That’s so annoying!

Why doesn’t his family contact that distant cousin now?

Let’s find out what people on Reddit think about this one.

This user knows how to politely get rid off the family.

This user knows how to deal with this situation!

This user has a funny take on the situation!

This user wants this guy to focus on his career and not ruin it for these people.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who doesn’t want to help his sister cover their aging father’s groceries.

That’s right! This user suggests never doing business with family.

His relatives ignored repeated offers when he needed experience, then returned once his career was thriving and their original arrangement apparently needed help.

Commenters overwhelmingly backed him, arguing that he was busy, established, and under no obligation to rescue projects from people who had previously dismissed him.

Ain’t it funny how “family opportunity” suddenly appeared once he no longer needed one?

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