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Being the only bilingual one in the family sounds like a fun party trick right up until it becomes an unpaid job description.

Every holiday, one man’s brother brings his partner who’s still learning English, and suddenly he’s forced to spend the entire meal translating in real time, a role that consumed hours of his last gathering and left him with no real time to eat, relax, or actually visit with anyone else.

Heading into this year’s holiday, he’s considering stepping back entirely, encouraging a translation app or simply patience instead of relying on him as a built-in interpreter.

His brother has already signaled that he’ll view this as selfish, invoking a vague promise of “family loyalty.”

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA if I refuse to translate for my brother in law at thanksgiving this year

So here’s the thing. Every holiday my brother Alex brings his partner, who is still learning English, and he expects me to translate the whole dinner conversation in real time.

This has quickly turned into a full-time job.

I don’t mind doing it occasionally, but last year it turned into nonstop back and forth for hours, and I barely got to eat or talk to anyone else.

Now he’s thinking of setting a boundary with his brother.

This year I am thinking about just politely saying no and letting them manage on their own with a translation app or slower conversation.

He feels like he has a right to enjoy simply being with family, not performing a job.

My side is simple: I want to enjoy the meal and catch up with family without being the permanent interpreter. It feels like my presence turns into a service instead of a visit.

But he knows his brother’s partner has a right to be a part of the conversation too.

Their side would probably be that I am the only one who can do it quickly, and refusing would make the partner feel excluded or embarrassed around everyone else.

Alex has already hinted that family should help family, so I know he will see it as me being cold or selfish if I step back.

AITA?

Having a translator is a good idea, but that duty shouldn’t fall to the same person every time, especially when they’re not being paid for performing the service.

What did Reddit have to say?

It’s probably hard to maintain a relationship with someone you can’t communicate with.

Alex should definitely be doing the translating himself.

It’s an easy NTA verdict for this commenter.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a group trip that sours when additional guests are added without agreement.

This whole system doesn’t seem very sustainable.

Nobody signs up to spend every holiday working. And let’s be clear, translating an entire dinner conversation for hours is work, whether or not it comes wrapped in family obligation.

This man has already given up his fair share of meals to the role, sitting through hours of back-and-forth while his own plate went cold and his own conversations went unhad.

At the end of the day, wanting to actually be present at a holiday meal, instead of functioning as unpaid live interpretation, isn’t selfish.

Translator is usually a role people are paid for.