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Sharing an apartment means sharing space, but nobody signs up to unknowingly share it with someone who was never actually part of the lease.
One woman found herself navigating a difficult situation when one of her roommate’s long-distance boyfriend took on part-time work in the city, initially staying a few days a week.
But before anyone knew it, he gradually became a full-time fixture in the flat, complete with his own key.
The change happened with zero discussion, even though all four original tenants continued splitting household bills equally.
She’s stuck wondering whether her growing irritation was justified, or simply an overreaction.
Keep reading for the full story.
Roommate has moved her bf in without asking?
So I joined a flatshare in London about a year ago, which already had 3 girls (so 4 of us in total). We are friendly and polite and have simple conversations, but we aren’t exactly close/friends.
Here’s where the conflict comes in.
One of the girls has a boyfriend who lives in Scotland but who would visit every other weekend. About 6 months ago, he got a contract in London which meant 3 days a week working.
He would fly to and from London and stay in our flat for the 3 days (which I was a bit confused by at first, but I get it, not a big deal).
But what was supposed to be an occasional arrangement has morphed into something else.
This has since morphed into him just staying here permanently, and it seems like he now works 5 days a week. She even had some keys cut for him, so he comes and goes as he pleases.
The issue is this was never brought up or discussed with any of us.
My problem is that this flatmate has an en-suite, so he isn’t causing an issue by using the shared bathroom, and they pretty much stay in her room unless they’re cooking tea or eating in the living room.
This is starting to really grate on her nerves.
It’s starting to really bug me, but I know I don’t have much of an argument, as technically he’s not really in my way. I think it just irritates me, as we all pay for bills equally and he is technically now utilising these things we are all paying for.
Do I have any sort of robust argument, or am I just going to be causing a problem over nothing?
This situation would frustrate just about any renter.
What did Reddit have to say?
This kind of thing happens more than one might think.
This commenter definitely wouldn’t let something like this slide.
This man is shirking a clear financial responsibility.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a resident who is not amused by new parking rules, so locks a lot gate to teach management a lesson.
Management needs to be informed of this issue.
Nobody needs a formal house meeting to notice when a two-person arrangement becomes a five-person household without anyone else actually agreeing to it.
The boyfriend’s low profile in the en-suite doesn’t erase the fact that four flatmates are now functionally covering costs for five people living there full-time.
The conversation ahead won’t be easy, but it’s necessary if she truly values fairness.
In life, you have to fight for what you want, even if it’s uncomfortable.
