Pexels

While it was an absolute horror show for a lot of folk, those who didn’t lose anyone or face any complications from Covid likely found the time in many ways life-changing. For the first time in their working lives, most adults were at home on weekdays, either working from home or finding other ways to spend their time – and while this was make or break for a lot of relationships, some families really saw the benefits of having both parents at home with the kids all day. It was a lifestyle change, so when offices started returning, understandably a lot of folk were reluctant to go back.

And that’s really understandable – because when you’ve known one way of life you never really get the chance to contemplate if something else would be better. But plenty of folk found out that something else was better – so whether than meant a change of role or a complete change of career, moving house or city, or even ending relationships in the aftermath of Covid, that time for introspection certainly changed things for a lot of folk around the world.

However, for the husband of the woman in this story, working from home really showed him that, in his case, working from the office was better. Unfortunately though, his wife really liked him working from home, and had hoped that it would continue.

Read on to find out how they proceeded.

AITA for wanting my husband to work from home instead of going to the office?

My husband (38, male) and I (35, female) have been married for ten years and have three kids (nine, six, and three).

I have been a stay at home mom ever since our first born. It’s easier now that the older two are in school, but it’s summer right now so they are home all the time.

The company my husband works for has given employees the option to work from home since Covid started. Of course, people can still choose to go to the office is they want, but it’s not required at all.

It’s been great for us as a family because his office is almost an hour’s commute away so we are saving a lot of money on gas and other expenses that go along with a commute of that length.

However, her husband has been having second thoughts about this arrangement.

But over the last month or so, my husband has been going into the office more and more regularly. Some weeks he will only work from home one day.

He has his own dedicated office in our house and the kids know not to bother him. He keeps the door locked while he’s working and the rest of us leave him alone. No one pesters him or asks him for anything while he’s working.

Yes, I’m sure he can probably still hear the noise the kids make during the day, but I doubt it’s any more distracting than working in a cubicle farm.

And this has had negative impacts on his wife.

When he works from home, it makes my daily life so much easier.

He can help with the kids in the morning before he starts work, he’s right there when his workday ends so he can watch the kids while I start dinner, and in an emergency he can help if I need it.

Our youngest got a large splinter a couple months ago that required an ER visit. so I asked him to watch the older kids while I took care of the youngest.

I asked him why he is going to the office more often and he told me he feels like he’s more productive at the office and since he got a promotion three months ago he feels it sets a good example that he’s dedicated and it gives him the opportunity to have a lot of face-to-face conversations with people, which he feels is important.

And they really weren’t seeing eye to eye on this.

I told him how much more helpful it is to me when he’s home, and he told me that summer is almost over and the older kids will be in school soon anyway so I should just wait it out for another few weeks.

But with his commute, he’s gone for over ten hours every day and he’s losing two hours of time at home every day. That’s time that could instead be used to help me at home, or spent with our kids.

I told him that I want him to work from home more often and he told me that I don’t get to decide how he works. He said his job allows us the comfortable life we have and he doesn’t want to jeopardize that. He said he would try to stay home more often, but he refused to promise anything or set a scheduled amount of days that he would stay home.

He told me he doesn’t tell me how to spend my time at home, so I shouldn’t tell him how to do his job, which I felt was uncalled for because my time at home doesn’t effect his job the way him staying home effects me. I just want a little extra help sometimes.

AITA?

He’s right – as much as she’s allowed a say, his wife does not get to dictate how he spends his working life.

And if this guy feels like working from the office is better for him, then that’s what he needs to do.

Sure he could try to be a bit more flexible, but if she’s a stay at home mom, that’s her job and as much as she might not like it, he needs to be doing his too.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This woman, in a similar position, explained why her approach was wrong.

While others agreed she should allow her husband to work however he needs to, and even consider getting a job herself.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who doesn’t want to help his sister cover their aging father’s groceries.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that she needed to communicate instead of trying to control him.

This stay at home mom understandably enjoyed having her husband around during the pandemic. After all, after all these years she wasn’t used to having another adult at home during the day time, and being able to have adult conversations and rely on her husband in an emergency must have been really refreshing. And the bonus of saving gas money and actually having all those extra hours at home with him would have felt like a real blessing.

But she has to understand that in order for them to continue having the lifestyle they’re used to, he needs to work hard at his job. And even though they’ve put all these measures in place when he’s working from home, if he feels like he’s best placed to do his job in the office than sadly that’s what he needs to do. And as harsh as it might feel, he has to do what’s best for himself and the family in this respect, even if that’s not exactly what his wife wants. But they need to communicate properly about this and be on the same page, for the good of the entire family.