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I had a male friend who was going to get married years ago and take his girlfriend’s last name and, I’m gonna be honest, some folks thought it was strange.

I think it’s much more common now than it was back then but, judging by this story, some people still aren’t cool with the idea of a man taking his wife’s last name.

Check out what this guy had to say about his situation, and see if you think he’s doing anything wrong.

WIBTAH for taking my fiancé’s last name?

“Me (28M) and my fiancé K (28F) are getting married soon.

We’ve decided quite a while ago that I will take up her last name.

My last name is long, cumbersome, and clearly Ashkenazi Jew, which (while true) comes with a host of stereotypes that mostly don’t fit me well.

K’s last name is short and international.

Sounds like a deal!

I’ve always disliked my last name, and K always liked hers; it has a nice ring, as does mine with her last name (both start with the same letter). I brought the idea up and K liked it.

We’ve both mentioned it publicly for months whenever it came up, but only now, with our wedding approaching, have our families realized we’re serious.

I’m suddenly facing strong resistance from my family, pleading I reconsider to “preserve the name”.

He’s not holding back!

I argue that:

The expectation of K automatically taking my last name with no consideration is inappropriate; what about her last name? Does she not have a say?

Instead of defaulting to a practice, we decided to evaluate which option (my name, hers, hyphenated) suits us best, and reached a conclusion.

The arguments of “preserving the name” and “keeping the family honor” are flawed; I have a younger brother who can keep the family name (granted, K does too); my sister isn’t keeping her name and was never asked to (why not, if it’s family honor?); and what do I have with family honor anyway? It’s not a value I hold at all.

People are pretty upset about this.

I hold to these, but they affect a lot of people:

– My family is obviously offended

– Both families feel this is me succumbing to K – as we also decided to marry quite quickly (proposed at month 9, will marry just before 2nd anniversary), and I am moving to her hometown.

In practice, it’s the exact opposite; I always disliked my last name, always disliked my home town, and always sought a clear understanding of my relationships. K likes these choices, but they were all my initiatives, my choices, to fix my own misgivings.

He’s worried and not sure what to do.

– I worry that will cast K in a bad light. She’s aware and says she’s willing to take it, but it’s essentially me putting her in this uncomfortable situation.

I am personally upset that everyone feels they have a say in what’s essentially my business. Then again, I do have a rebellious streak and there are non argumentative solutions: we can just both keep our names, we can hyphenate, even flat out not discuss it.

Given it is just a name, this might be just me being stubborn, even though I feel strongly about it.

Given all that – WIBTAH if I take up my fiancé’s last name when we marry?”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person said he’s NTA.

Another reader weighed in.

This individual made a good point.

Another Reddit user spoke up.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who gets fed up with her son not working and puts him in charge of nightly dinners.

And this reader said he’s NTA.

Who knew someone’s last name could cause such a stir…?

He’s gonna get grief about it no matter what now, it seems…

But to hell with these folks!

He should do what he wants and ignore the reaction from his family members.