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Living with a teenage sibling for the first time is rarely a seamless experience, but one couple’s attempt to fix the resulting chaos may have made things worse instead of better.

After her 15-year-old half-brother moved from the UK to live with her long-term, one woman found herself absorbing nearly all the household responsibility, cleaning up messes, chasing down basic accountability, and getting increasingly little support from parents who insisted she simply “guide him” as the older sibling.

So when her boyfriend suggested she give the teen the silent treatment to make him understand the impact of his actions, the plan backfired immediately, with the brother acting out even more, confused about why the people around him had suddenly gone cold.

Now the boyfriend is questioning whether that suggestion was the wrong call, in a situation where nobody, not the brother, not the parents, and not the couple, ever actually sat down and talked things through directly.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for suggesting my girlfriend give her younger brother the silent treatment?

My girlfriend (F21) and I (M21) have been together for 2 years, and we’re both very close with each other’s families. Like genuinely close, I stay over during family gatherings for weeks sometimes, and she’s the same with mine.

But soon the stage was set for some drama.

Recently, her younger half brother (15) moved from the UK to America to study in high school.

Before he arrived, everything was great. We’d met multiple times through video calls, and both my girlfriend and I were excited when we found out he’d be staying here long term.

It was soon decided that his girlfriend and her brother would be seeing a lot of each other.

Eventually, her family decided that my girlfriend and her brother would live together in an apartment. Since her family knows I practically live with my girlfriend half the time anyway, they were also okay with me staying there often.

It didn’t take long for the whole arrangement to start falling apart.

The first two weeks were fine, but after that things started getting stressful. He became really sloppy and reckless.

I understand he’s a teenager and this is his first time living here long term, but my girlfriend slowly started feeling like she was doing everything herself.

He gives several examples of his girlfriend’s brother’s reckless behavior

Going to random people’s houses without properly informing anyone.

Leaving messes everywhere, one time he ate lunch on the patio and left the bowl near the edge, and it fell onto a neighbor’s roof, constantly ignoring reminders and basic responsibilities.

So he encourages his girlfriend to try and get ahead of the issue, but the parents weren’t sympathetic.

I suggested my girlfriend ask their parents to talk to him because sometimes he genuinely wouldn’t listen to her anymore.

But their dad got upset and basically said, “He’s your brother, be more understanding. As the older sibling, you should guide him.” He also said he was too busy to deal with it himself.

The brother’s behavior is really starting to impact the couple.

At this point, my girlfriend’s mental health was being affected because she felt stuck doing all the emotional labor, cleaning, and responsibility while also balancing school/work.

Honestly, I got frustrated too from seeing it every day.

He then gives his girlfriend a suggestion.

So I told her maybe she should stop babying him and give him the silent treatment for a while, not permanently, but enough to make him realize his actions were affecting people.

Of course, this only made things worse.

Instead, he got upset and started acting out even more because he apparently didn’t understand why we were distancing ourselves from him.

Now I’m wondering if I was the AH for suggesting that instead of encouraging a more mature approach.

The silent treatment is almost never the right solution.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter thinks there’s more than enough blame to go around.

This user agrees the silent treatment ususally only causes more problems.

A mature conversation would have given the couple a much better chance of solving the issue at hand.

This commenter encourages the man to find another place to live if this brother bothers him so much.

Nobody here is fully innocent, and that’s really the core of why this situation spiraled the way it did.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an uncle who is surprised to find his niece’s birthday party all about him after one unkind comment.

The brother was being careless and inconsiderate, leaving messes and ignoring basic responsibilities, but a 15-year-old adjusting to an entirely new country isn’t going to magically understand expectations nobody’s ever clearly laid out for him.

The dad shirked his responsibility completely by dumping full parenting duties onto a 21-year-old and calling it “guidance,” which isn’t fair to anyone involved.

And the couple choosing silent treatment over an actual conversation just added confusion to an already messy situation.

How is a teenager supposed to improve when nobody ever sits him down and tells him what’s actually wrong?