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Friendships rarely collapse over one canceled trip; they usually arrive there carrying years of unpaid debts, ignored boundaries, and buried resentment.
One student tolerated a controlling roommate who borrowed freely, contributed selectively, and demanded standards she never followed herself.
After another travel plan stalled over money, the frustrated friend quietly chose a different vacation rather than confronting the real problem directly.
Was canceling the final straw?
AITA for canceling a trip with my roommate after years of her using my things and not paying me back?
I (21F) never really had close friendships before, but in university I ended up living with a girl for about 2 years.
At first it was fine, but over time she developed habits that really wore me down.
There’s a long list of things her roommate did that annoyed her.
She would make me contribute to things she used, borrow my food and personal items without asking, and criticize me for my lifestyle even though I have narcolepsy and ADHD.
If I ever touched her things, she would get very upset and demand repayment.
She also controlled a lot of what I did when I could go out, what I ate, and even what I wore.
She was extremely loud at home but once got angry at me just for responding to her sister on speakerphone, saying I was invading her privacy.
Money was also an issue.
For 2 years she also used my phone subscription without paying, and I never asked her for money.
I even once covered rent alone for a summer.
Meanwhile, she often called me selfish or weak.
The breaking point came when we planned a trip together.
It really didn’t go well.
She booked a hotel, then canceled it.
I researched and sent her new plans, but she kept delaying paying her part.
After 15 days of waiting with no news, I made other plans with my family instead (I told her I was going with family, though I mostly just didn’t want to deal with her).
When she found out, she said I was a terrible friend and selfish.
AITA for canceling the trip and not waiting on her any longer or is the normal friendship dynamics ?
That “friend” doesn’t sound very much like a friend to me.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.
It’s time to ditch this “friend.”
Another person shares a similar thought.
She should’ve moved out a long time ago.
She didn’t do anything wrong.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a landlord who took action after a resident refused to respect an assigned parking spot.
Actually, she did do something wrong. She put up with her roommate for too long!
OP abandoned the trip after her roommate delayed payment, but disguised the real reason instead of finally addressing their deeply unhealthy dynamic.
The ESH verdict reflected both problems: one friend repeatedly exploited boundaries while the other enabled it, accumulated resentment, and avoided honest communication.
They skipped one necessary conversation for two years, then acted surprised when the vacation itinerary included debt, deception, and emotional baggage.