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When you live with roommates, you kind of have to accept that they’re not the same as you. They’re going to have different preferences when it comes to food and beverages, they might be cleaner or messier than you. Perhaps they’re on a very different sleep schedule and have certain different moral, ethical, or religious beliefs. But so long as you respect one another and are actual decent folk, you should have no problem living together at all.

Of course, there will be points of friction, but if handled properly with a respectful conversation and compromise, all parties can still feel heard and respected in their home. However, unfortunately for her, that is not what happened with the college student in this story. Instead, her roommate acted on her concerns – but only for a short time. Now, she’s stuck trying to figure out what to do.

Read on to find out why.

WIBTA for asking my college roommate to stop sleeping on the futon and do her laundry more often?

Okay so I met this girl through the Facebook group for new students in the winter of senior year.

She seemed nice enough and I drove to her city (about five hours away) to meet her.

We decided to be roommates after meeting in person. We didn’t talk much about our cleanliness habits (HUGE mistake).

So after getting to school, I realize this girl is the DIRTIEST girl I have possibly ever met. She never does laundry, and keeps her laundry bag (of dirty clothes!) right next to my desk.

This is understandably grossing this student out.

It is so overfilled that sometimes dirty underwear will fall on the floor. Granted, the room is small and she is an out of state student so she brings more clothes than me.

But, I keep my dirty clothes in a bag in my closet. NOT right next to her desk.

It is embarrassing to have friends in the room because some of them have pointed this out. To make matters worse, she used to keep them right next to the futon where friends sit. So the other spot she picked was right next to my desk.

I didn’t fight it at the time, as I would rather it be here than next to the futon, but it is disgusting.

And the futon is the source of some further drama within this pair.

The second thing she does to annoy me is sleep on the futon. I’m not talking about sleeping on the futon once a week when she gets home plastered at 3 am. It is every single night.

It is bothersome because she often does not wake up until noon or 1pm, therefore, me or any friends I have over cannot sit on the futon.

I feel like I have to tiptoe around my own room when I get ready for class, as she is usually sleeping on the futon right there.

Often times when she leaves for class she will leave her stuff strewn all over the futon, as she uses it like her bed!

Of course, this woman has tried to talk to her roommate about this.

I have mentioned to her that I would prefer she would sleep in her bed, so she stopped sleeping on the futon for a few weeks. This was about three months ago.

However, after her friends came to visit (week after winter break) and THEY slept on the futon, she started doing it again!

She does other things to bother me, but those are the main two that really drive me crazy. I provide most of the cleaning supplies for the room and do ALL of the cleaning. Her idea of cleaning is to throw clothes in her closet, whereas I actually wipe stuff down, vacuum, take out the trash etc.

So would I be wrong for asking my roommate to start sleeping in her bed again and do her laundry so that the bag is not overflowing next to my desk?

WIBTA?

Honestly, until you live with someone you can never truly understand their habits – and this woman has really suffered as a result of that.

But what she’s asking of her roommate is not unreasonable at all – in fact, doing laundry and sleeping in your actual bed are quite normal things to do.

It’s no wonder that it’s bugging this woman.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

Even to someone who’d never had roommates before, the roommate seemed out of order.

While others thought the woman should seek support to fix things with her roommate.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a resident who is not amused by new parking rules, so locks a lot gate to teach management a lesson.

Meanwhile this Redditor thought she needed to be more assertive with her roommate.

Honestly, the fact that she’s already tried to have the conversation with her roommate about the dirty laundry and about not sleeping on the futon shows that really, the roommate knows that these things are bothering her already. And yet, she’s still insisting on being lazy and neglectful with her laundry, and refusing to sleep in her own bed. That shows a complete lack of regard for her roommate’s feelings, and – in line with her gross cleaning habits – likely a lack of respect for herself too.

And this woman has tried her best to deal with the situation but understandably is concerned that she’s in the wrong for not enjoying her roommate’s dirty laundry being so close to her workspace and having to tiptoe around the sleeping roommate on the futon all the time. But she is not in the wrong – in fact, she’s the reasonable one here. She needs to seek more support from an RA or other advisor on this issue, because if her roommate is not going to change, she’s going to need backup.