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Going to college can be really exciting, and a key and important part of a person’s life and development. And let’s be real: getting into college – especially if you get into the one you really want to go to – is a massive achievement and something well worth celebrating. And sure it can be expensive, but if you get a good qualification and a whole lot of enjoyment and life experience out of it, then surely it’s worth it.

But that doesn’t mean to say that you have to enjoy it when you’re there. Because the truth is, college isn’t for everyone. You might get there and find out that you hate your classes, you can’t seem to click with your roommates, or that the expectations – or the distance from home – are too much for you. All of these things in isolation can be dealt with – you could change courses, find friends outside of your dorm, have regular scheduled calls with your family, and find ways to organise yourself to cope with the deadlines, but honestly, some people just really don’t enjoy it.

For these people, the choice of dropping out is a valid one. Because these are years of your life, and if you don’t like how you’re spending them – especially if they’re affecting your physical or mental health, it’s never something to be ashamed of if you want to explore other opportunities.

And that’s something that the student in this story needs to be told, rather than the words that the people around her are saying instead.

Read on to find out what’s going on here.

WIBTA for dropping out of college and leaving my friend behind?

I (21, female) have been studying at a university for three years now.

I retook my second year as I struggle immensely with depression and time management.

I screwed up again this year because I just can’t seem to find any motivation to do the work and I still don’t know from my results if I can make it into my final year.

I knew straight away after retaking that it was a bad decision, but couldn’t drop out then due to the fact I had already paid for my house that year and all my student finance.

Let’s see how this is potentially going to affect her friendships.

I met my best friend while living together in first year, and she is coming back from her placement so we both agreed to do our final year together in a house share, which is cheaper.

I don’t want to make the mistake of being trapped like last year, so I need to cut my losses soon and drop out before my move in date, which is next month.

If I do I will be leaving her alone (especially since all of our friends have already graduated), with three random men we have never met, in a house share I agreed to do with her.

For many reasons, she’s struggling to make this decision.

Everyone thinks it’s stupid to drop out before my final year, especially because I have already spent extra time and money retaking, but I simply don’t care anymore.

I am more scared about how I will survive my final year if I do pass.

I really don’t want to lose her as a friend she means a lot to me and I feel like she will see my not putting any effort into my study as a direct correlation to me then not putting any effort into our friendship.

WIBTA?

This is a really tough position to be in, especially because she cares about her friend, and leaving her with three men they don’t know is – for many reasons – not an ideal situation.

But in the end, she has to care about her own mental health. That’s the thing she needs to put first, and with clear communication, her friend should understand.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person agreed that a best friend would care more about their buddy’s mental health.

However, others judged her for dropping out.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who refuses to give up her own holiday traditions to spend the day with her family at her brother’s cabin.

But most Redditors were supportive of her making the decisions that were right for her wellbeing.

Let’s be real, it might be disappointing for her friend to learn that they’re not going to be living together, and instead she’s going to be moving in with a group of strangers. That’s not an ideal situation for anyone to be in, and she’s likely to feel like she’s starting as a freshman that doesn’t know anyone again – it’s daunting to say the least. But if she’s a good friend she will absolutely understand. However, she needs to be given the chance to understand by being included in the conversation.

If this student is sure she’s dropping out, then having this talk with her friend sooner rather than later will give her time to mentally prepare, and maybe even find someone to fill the spot in the house. But it would also mean that the student would have another person there for her while she’s struggling, someone that she can talk through her turmoil with rather than having to turn to strangers on the internet. Even if she disappoints her, a good friendship will survive – because one another’s wellbeing is surely the most important thing.