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Workplace friendliness is supposed to build trust, not turn into an informal financial audit.
A new lawyer found herself fielding an increasingly invasive string of questions from a young coworker, ranging from mortgage details to income estimates to how she and her husband split household finances, all disguised as casual “getting-to-know-you” conversation.
Eventually, fed up of the intrusion, she unfollowed her coworker on social media, knowing full well it would likely spark an awkward conversation in their small office.
You’ll want to read on to find out what Reddit had to say about this one.
Coworker extremely nosy about my finances
My (36F) coworker (28F) added me on social media and has been constantly asking about my finances. I’m a new lawyer and she’s a receptionist at the company and has started by making small talk.
The first week was fine and she asked questions to get to know me.
But these questions have since escalated significantly.
She has since asked many questions that make me uncomfortable such as:
- Do I rent or own?
- How much is my mortgage?
- Do my husband and I split mortgage/finances?
- How do we split (50/50, 60/40 etc, genuine thing she asked)
- How often we vacation
- How we afford to vacation so much (as she saw posts on my social media)
- What car I drive
- Roughly the range for my income, I said “I don’t know” and she said to estimate
This lawyer is starting to feel extremely uncomfortable by all this.
I told my husband and he agreed she is very intrusive and we are both uncomfortable with these questions, so I’ve since removed her from social media. We work in a smaller law firm so I know she will notice right away and want to know what to say while still being professional.
Then there’s the unsolicited advice.
She also tries to give financial advice. Told me I should sell my car and take public transport because she does and saves money, told me I shouldn’t vacation over Christmas or it will “make me look unreliable” when my vacation days were already approved by management.
I do not want drama because otherwise she seems nice and has asked me to hang out (I definitely will not) but don’t want tension going forward at work.
This colleague needs to take several steps back.
What did Reddit make of this inquisitive receptionist?
It’s time to start keeping this woman at arm’s length.
Personal and professional are better kept separate.
Maybe a little directness is what this young receptionist needs.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who was denied a raise for “not being dedicated enough,” but then went on to discover what was really going on behind the scenes.
Or maybe a little redirection?
Asking a coworker (one you practically just met, mind you) how they split their mortgage is not small talk, that’s just plain nosy.
And then telling someone, unprompted, to sell their car or skip an already-approved vacation? Nobody asked!
In the workplace, it’s always better to err on the side of minding your own dang business.