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Some friendships fade so slowly you don’t notice the distance until an event like a wedding forces you to start paying attention.

One woman found herself questioning exactly where she stood with a longtime friend of over 16 years after being asked to be a bridesmaid just a month before the wedding date, with zero explanation for the sudden timing.

She’d already been added to a bridal party group chat that had clearly existed for a while, raising uncomfortable questions about whether she was ever the first choice to begin with.

Attempts to stay connected afterward went mostly ignored, including an unanswered birthday message that left her wondering if she’d even been blocked.

When she finally addressed the lack of communication, her friend brushed it off entirely, claiming that occasionally checking her social media counted as staying in touch.

Now planning her own wedding, she’s left wondering whether including that same friend in her bridal party still makes sense at all.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not inviting my friend to my wedding

I have a female friend I’ve known for about 16 years or more now. We used to call each other besties.

As life’s gone on and things happened, we became distant. But we still reach out from time to time on social media, for the most part. So this is where I wanna know if I’m wrong.

2 years ago now, she got married. Want to say it was in August or September. I knew about her getting married, but she never reached out to me about it, and nor did I reach out, or let’s say I didn’t want to seem pushy about it.

But then her friend reached out.

So maybe a month before her wedding, she reached out to me and asked if I could be a bridesmaid.

At first I was excited. But then I thought about it and asked why she asked me a month before her actual wedding, being though I had to get my own dress, hair, and makeup done.

She began to have suspicions she wasn’t her friend’s first choise.

I asked her, “Was this a last-minute choice due to someone backing out?” She swore it wasn’t. It still didn’t make sense to me, but being a friend, I told her I would.

During this month, she added me to her bridal party group chat.

The evidence continued to pile up.

Mind you, it wasn’t a new chat, it had been made for a while. I only knew that because she mentioned to the other girls she was gonna add me in the chat.

Now, if this wasn’t a last-minute thing, why am I just now being added to the chat? I’m sure she already had a bridal shower, but I didn’t ask these things. Like, was she even gonna invite me to her wedding if the person didn’t back out?

This friend hasn’t ever been the best at communicating.

I’ve reached out a couple times after that, on her birthday she didn’t reply. To the point I had to message her on social media asking her did she change her number.

Every time I reach out, she has an excuse for why she didn’t say anything, or she’s been busy.

She reached out asking me why I don’t reach out to her, and I simply told her 2 or more times I reached out and she doesn’t respond.

She always has some kind of excuse.

Her comment was, “Well, I be doing stuff, and I was just trying to see if you were ok, and if you’re ok, then I did my part.” I was bothered by her comment and decided to distance myself.

She kept all of that in mind when it came to planning her own wedding, and she’s not sure if her friend deserves to make the guest list.

Now that it’s my turn to plan my wedding, AITA for not wanting to invite her, let alone have her be part of my bridal party?

She would see me say stuff on social media, or for example, I posted my bridesmaids. She didn’t ask any questions about it, just asked how the planning was going.

AITA?

Her friend has never made her a priority, so why should she?

Redditors chime in.

This user doesn’t really see the big deal.

Wedding guest lists shouldn’t be built entirely on obligation.

This user isn’t a fan of all the dishonesty.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who refuses to change her 4th of July traditions for her in-laws, sparking a family feud.

This commenter thinks she’s totally right to leave her friend off.

Being asked to be a bridesmaid a month before the wedding with no real explanation is a strange way to treat someone you’ve called your best friend for 16 years. Finding out the group chat predated that invite just adds another layer of suspicion to an already confusing situation.

Watching outreach go unanswered for years, then getting told that occasionally checking in on social media “counts” as effort is pretty much the bare minimum.

Sixteen years of friendship doesn’t automatically earn a spot if the last few years weren’t actually mutual.