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It’s no secret that most societies around the world romanticise having children. After all, we have a vested interest in our species’ survival, and procreation is the only way to actually achieve that. But the reality is that being a parent is not easy at all – in fact, it is one of the most challenging things that most folk will engage in through their lifetimes. Sure it can be rewarding too, but the one thing folks don’t always talk about? Being a parent is hard, and an emotional minefield.

As new parents, the couple in this story are understandably protective of their six month old son. And of course they are: their baby is their child, one of the most important factors in their lives. So as they’re learning to trust other folk with childcare, they’re naturally leaning on the support of those who are close to them, the people who they are sure will love and care for their child while they get a rare bit of alone time.

However, a recent phone call with her sister gave the new mom some clear cause for concern – especially given the call that followed up their discussion the next day, when the sister was due to babysit.

Read on to find out what happened here.

AITA for telling my sister I didn’t want her boyfriend at my house around my baby while my husband and I weren’t home?

My husband (27, male) and I (27, female) have a six month old son. Recently, my sister was supposed to babysit him at our house while we go out on a date for a couple hours.

The day before, she called me crying because she had broken up with her boyfriend. She spent a long time telling me how awful he had been, that she was done with him, and how badly their relationship was going.

For context, they’ve only been together since February, but it’s been an extremely on and off again relationship.

About two months after they signed a lease together, she found out he had another girlfriend in a different town. Despite that, they stayed together and she plans to continue living with him for the remainder of the lease.

But the next day, things had changed again.

The very next day, when I asked if she was still coming over, she told me she was bringing him. That completely caught me off guard because I genuinely thought they had broken up.

I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her boyfriend being at my house around my son while neither my husband nor I would be home.

It wasn’t because I thought my son would be in danger or because I think she’s a bad mom or aunt – my concern was that their relationship had gone from “we’re over” to “he’s coming with me” in less than 24 hours.

I didn’t want that kind of instability or possible drama around my infant while I wasn’t there.

Let’s see how her sister responded to that.

I told her if she came by herself, or if they both came another day when my husband or I were home, I had no issue with that.

I even offered to pick her up and buy her dinner so she wouldn’t have to rely on him for transportation or food that night, which she said was the reason why he was coming.

She declined. She said I was basically implying she was unstable and wouldn’t be able to separate her relationship problems from spending time with my son.

She also compared it to my marriage, saying she could choose not to let my husband around her daughter because she knows personal things I’ve shared with her about our relationship.

But this mom wasn’t standing for that retalitation.

To me, those situations aren’t the same. My husband is my husband and my son’s father. He is obviously not perfect, but he’s close to it. Her boyfriend is someone she had just called me the day before saying she had broken up with and didn’t want to be with anymore.

I wasn’t making a permanent rule or anything, I was just saying that given everything that had happened over the previous 24 hours, I wasn’t comfortable with him being at my house around my baby while neither parent was present.

Am I wrong for not wanting him at my house?

AITA?

Listen, no one would want this kind of crazy around their young child.

It’s not about the aunt, her suitability for babysitting or her fitness to be an aunt or mother.

It’s about the instability of her relationship and the volatility that clearly exists between the pair – something that a young child does not need to be exposed to.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought that she was quite right to set her own boundaries.

While others thought that this was an important lesson when it came to her sister.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who held up her end of a college savings bargain only to be ripped off by her scheming older sibling.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought things were going to go downhill for her sister from this point.

When you have an infant, it can be very difficult to leave them with someone else, regardless of how much you trust that person. It’s absolutely vital to learn to trust others with your child, but it’s a huge step for any new parent. After all, infants are vulnerable and perhaps the most precious part of your life – it’s normal to want to pick the people they’ll be around wisely.

So, given the long phone call this woman had with her sister, and all the awful things she heard about the boyfriend, it’s no wonder that she doesn’t want him alone with her child. Especially given the fact that her sister had gone from hating him to being back together like nothing had happened within less than 24 hours. Her boyfriend has proved himself not to be trustworthy, and all this suggests that the sister’s judgement is truly off.

Sure, she doesn’t want to insult her sister’s ability to be a great aunt or mother, but this whole situation is packed with red flags – and as the infant’s mother she’s the one who gets to determine who is around her child.