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Weddings are already a lot to navigate with different family traditions, expectations, and opinions, but things can get even more complicated when two cultures and two families are trying to fit into the same celebration.
In this case, one bride thought she had already found a compromise that would make everyone happy.
She would wear a traditional Nigerian outfit for a separate Nigerian wedding, the white dress she had envisioned for her main wedding and a sparkly reception dress afterward. Then, just eight months before the wedding, everything changed.
Her future in-laws canceled the traditional wedding because of financial constraints but still expected the Nigerian clothing to be part of the main reception.
Now the bride is being asked to change her plans yet again. Should she?
Read the full story below.
AITA: For not wanting to wear traditional Nigerian clothing at my wedding?
I (28 F) am African American and marrying a (30 M) Nigerian-American.
He’s not very traditional but has vocalized about wanting to wear traditional clothing at our wedding reception.
Initially we were just going to have one wedding where I would wear a white dress during the ceremony and would change to Nigerian clothing during the reception.
After discussing wedding details with our families, his parents wanted to have a traditional Nigerian wedding a couple days before our wedding.
My fiancé and I agreed we would just wear the traditional outfits at the Nigerian wedding then.
But then the plans changed.
Our families decided that my fiancé and I will pay for wedding ceremony and reception and his parents will pay for the traditional Nigerian wedding.
However, 8 months before our wedding and AFTER save the dates went out, his parents decide to cancel the Nigerian wedding due to financial constraints.
My MIL now wants to wear traditional clothing during the wedding reception.
I always envisioned all the guest wearing all black formal attire at the wedding ceremony and reception.
She tried making things work for everyone.
I wanted to change into a shorter and sparkly dress during the reception (the sparkly dress will be created by a Nigerian designer, but it’s not the traditional asoebi fabric and length).
However, my MIL and fiancé are now wanting me to change again during the reception to Nigerian attire.
I told my fiancé that I want to wear the sparkly dress that I’m paying for the rest of the night and if he wants to wear his Nigerian attire, he is more than welcomed to.
Money dynamics are present.
My MIL is considering hosting a smaller Nigerian party. In which I told her that would wear the Nigerian outfit then.
But I wanted to wear my sparkly dress during the reception.
I’m paying for 60% of my wedding ceremony and reception and my fiancé is covering the rest due to our salary differences.
Which I knew going into the wedding planning. In my opinion, if I’m paying for most of the wedding, I should get the wedding I dreamed of.
But other people apparently disagree.
My MIL has three other daughters who are the same age as me and that will get married down the line, but I feel like she has many opinions about this wedding since her firstborn son is getting married.
I know I initially agreed with my fiancé to wear traditional outfits when the weddings were initially combined, but I’m realizing that I was sacrificing and deep down did not want to.
However, after his parents cancelled the Nigerian wedding after the save the dates went out, it made me realize that I should do what I want.
AITA?
What did Reddit think?
I agree.
Simple like that.
Something to consider.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who had to sprint to the bathroom the moment he got home, then emerged to find his partner upset he didn’t greet her properly.
Another reader chimes in.
Another idea.
What she’s going to wear at her wedding is her decision, even if she decides to take their wishes into consideration. She shouldn’t feel guilted into it.