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Whether planned or unplanned, the birth of your first child can be one of the most exciting, yet most daunting prospects in your whole life. Because even though you’ve read all the books, watched all the videos, and received seemingly hundreds of people’s unsolicited advice, you’ll never truly know what pregnancy, birth, and those first postpartum days are like until you’ve experienced them for yourself. And let’s be honest, any of these things can be unpredictable, and any of them can be a challenge no matter how prepared you are.

For the couple in this story, the recent birth of their first child has changed their lives forever, as they knew it would. But due to his job and the country they live in, the father was only able to spend a week and a half with his fiancée and child before he had to return to work, working long hours in order to secure them the income they rely on. Then, six weeks after giving birth, his fiancée returned to her own commitments too.

Now, their conflicting schedules around the baby are harming their relationship, and there seems to be no easy answer.

Read on to find out more.

AITA for working hard?

My fiancée and I just recently had a baby about six weeks ago.

I was only able to take a week and a half off to help the starting process of taking care of the baby and get to spend time with both of them.

I went back to work and worked normal hours (7am to 3:30pm) for a few weeks, until this last week.

I work in the trades and I’m currently trying to start a small business taking side jobs and what not.

Let’s see what changed in terms of his working hours.

This last week my foreman came to let me know our time is quickly running out and we need to work overtime if we can to try and bang it out.

I personally work as much as I possibly can usually, because for all the things we have to pay for, the money is just barely enough.

It’s Friday now and I worked eleven hours Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, and ten hours Thursday.

This however is really upsetting my fiancée.

Read on to find out why his fiancée is upset.

She just started her first day of class literally yesterday, and said she needs to do her homework and doesn’t have time, so I need to stop working so much so I can take the baby and she can do it.

This has sparked several arguments because this is what she’s wanted me to do, pick up side jobs, do overtime, find the money, and now that I am it’s a problem.

Whenever I’m home, in my experience the baby sleeps almost half of the time, so I would think she could get some homework done during that time.

I’m not making the argument that it’s an easy job to stay home with the baby while simultaneously trying to study and do homework for school, but it’s also not a fun time working so much but I’m doing it because it’s what needs to be done.

Now the communication problems are causing issues in their relationship.

Whenever I explain this she claims that all I’m worried about is myself and my business, but in my mind this money makes our lives exponentially easier.

I feel like it’s not really even logical to turn down jobs when you’re trying to start up and get people talking about you.

I just want to not argue about this, but it feels like it’s her schooling or my business, and I don’t know if I’m being an ******* for not turning down jobs for the home work.

AITA?

The time after having a baby can be really challenging for anyone, and it feels like this couple have a lot going on in their lives outside of parenthood too.

It’s fantastic that this guy is starting a business that will certainly go a long way toward supporting his family through their lives, and his proactivity is admirable – as is her dedication to her studies.

Really, this couple need to seek some support with childcare, or have a calm conversation about the duties they’re going to share.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that whether from one another or an outside source, this couple need more support.

While others thought he wasn’t really considering what she’d been through and all the changes in his fiancée’s body and life.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend group that’s split when one roommate backs out of their dream apartment.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged him to set aside his ambitions, for a short while at least.

There’s good reason why plenty of countries offer new parents a significant amount of paid time off for new parents – both parents, that is. It’s because birth is a traumatic event for the body, and adjusting to life with a new baby is challenging to say the least. Everything changes, from when you can eat and shower to how much sleep you can get without being interrupted, and as such the dynamics of your relationship is likely to change for a little while as things settle down.

This guy is absolutely going to build his own business, and the family will be very grateful for that extra income as a result of his dedication. And the mom is also going to work hard at school and become qualified, and have a successful career of her own. But right now, they have just become parents for the first time, and their baby is developing and growing rapidly, even in those early days. If they can at all afford to, they need to be supporting one another and spending as much time with their child as possible right now – or at least finding some familial or paid support to help them achieve their goals whilst also caring for their newborn.

These times are challenging, but they’ll be over before you know it.