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Family emergencies test generosity in ways that go far beyond just offering a spare room.
One grandmother, already managing her own health issues alongside her husband, was asked to house her daughter’s family of three, plus four unvaccinated pets and a senior dog dealing with serious incontinence and declining health, all within a modest two-bedroom home.
She wanted to help during what was clearly a difficult financial stretch following her son-in-law’s layoff, but the reality of unvetted animals, potential carpet damage, and likely vet bills falling on her own finances made the situation feel far more complicated than a simple family favor.
She began to wonder where generosity should end and her own boundaries should begin.
Keep reading for the full story.
WIBTA to not allow my daughter and son in law to bring their pets to move in with me?
My (63f) daughter (31f) and her husband (34m) are in need of a place to stay, and looking to temporarily move into my husband’s and my home while my son in law looks for a new job.
He was laid off a few months ago, and they are struggling financially and looking to move in with us until they can afford a new apartment.
There’s one big problem preventing her from allowing them to stay.
The only issue is that they have 4 cats (all of these are wild/feral cats they found and “rescued”. They have not been given their shots or other treatments from a vet) and 1 senior dog who is incontinent, can barely walk, eat, see, hear, etc, and they strongly do not want to put him down despite his extremely poor quality of life.
Part of her feels conflicted about upholding this boundary, but another part of her feels justified.
They love the animals very dearly, and I would feel awful to tell them the animals cannot come along, but due to the lack of shots and issues with constantly urinating/defecating in their apartment, I really do not want that in my house.
It is a rental unit with carpet in the bedrooms (where I’m assuming their dog would mostly stay) so I do not see how they would keep the carpet from being destroyed. They say that the reason they have not taken the cats to be fixed or get shots is because they cannot afford it, so if I ask them to do that for all the cats, that cost will likely fall to me and my husband.
Then there’s the matter of her grandchild.
In addition to their animals, they have a 6 month old daughter. I love my granddaughter and would love to have her in the house, but for a two-bedroom, 1-bathroom house, this is a lot of people.
All of these things together is bound to put her past her limit.
It would be manageable with just the three of them, but with 5 animals on top of that, I worry I will be really overwhelmed. My husband and I both have health issues, and I’m not sure how much we would be able to contribute to taking care of the animals and my granddaughter.
WIBTA if I asked them to re-home at least some of their animals if not all of them before moving in?
This sounds like a lot for anyone to deal with.
What did Reddit have to say?
This user brings up the issue of affordability.
She shouldn’t be forced to fix someone else’s poor decisions.
Maybe re-homing really is the right decision here.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who is annoyed that her brother is making their mom’s international trip all about how broke he is.
This commenter implores this woman to stand her ground.
There’s a difference between being unwilling to help and being realistic about what a household can actually support, and this grandmother’s hesitation falls clearly into the second category.
Taking in three people, a baby, and five animals, some with significant medical needs, into a modest two-bedroom rental isn’t a small accommodation. By anyone’s standards, it’s a major undertaking that could genuinely affect her and her husband’s own health and quality of life.
Supporting family shouldn’t require sacrificing your own home’s stability and your own wellbeing.