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Sometimes, even strong friendships can be tested by unexpected boundaries.

This woman has been close friends with someone for 25 years. She was excited to finally introduce her to her new girlfriend. However, plans became complicated when her friend requested that, instead of calling her partner a “girlfriend,” she use the term “friend” in front of her young children. OP wasn’t comfortable with the request and decided that it may not be the right time for the introduction.

This story is one of those friendship situations where both people seem to have understandable feelings and boundaries. Read the full story below.

AITA for refusing to be introduced as ‘friend’ rather than ‘girlfriend’ to my best friend’s kids?

I have a really close 25-year friendship with a woman who was so loving and supportive when I came out to her as bi.

Let’s call her Trudy. 6 months ago, I met the love of my life and we have have a wonderful relationship. Let’s call her Anna.

Anna has met almost all my friends except Trudy (who lives far away).

Yesterday, I arranged to meet up with Trudy to introduce her to my girlfriend. However, because Trudy couldn’t find a babysitter, she said she’d bring her 3 kids with her (all under 12).

This woman didn’t want to agree to Trudy’s request.

A couple of hours before we were due to meet up, Trudy texted to ask if it’s okay to introduce Anna to her kids as my friend, rather than my girlfriend. She said they won’t understand that she’s my girlfriend and she’s not ready to have that talk with them yet.

I was totally taken aback by this request, so I said no.

I said that I’m not comfortable being in an environment where my relationship isn’t acknowledged and I don’t want to hide who my girlfriend is to me.

I said that if she isn’t ready to talk to the kids about same-gender relationships (which admittedly is a big subject!), it might be better if we reschedule to another time.

Trudy felt hurt, especially since she had been very supportive of her and her relationship.

Trudy was very hurt and said she has been incredibly supportive of the relationship and isn’t asking me to hide anything.

I’m very hurt by her response and so upset.

I feel like I’ve extended a lot of kindness and understanding to her, whilst holding my own boundaries.

I’m not asking her to discuss anything with her kids that she’s uncomfortable with. But I’m not prepared to put myself or my girlfriend in that situation.

She’s now wondering if she was in the wrong.

Trudy genuinely doesn’t understand my position and now isn’t replying to my texts.

This is a friend who has been nothing but supportive and loving to me for 25 years. And has been so excited about my new relationship.

AITA for not meeting up with her unless she introduced my girlfriend as my girlfriend?

OP wasn’t wrong for not wanting to hide or misrepresent her relationship. But, at the same time, Trudy also has a valid point about her children not being able to understand the concept of same-gender relationships. I guess they really have to meet halfway or discuss how to best deal with the situation they are in.

Let’s read the comments of other Reddit users on this story.

This user sides with OP.

Another person chimes in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who offered to buy his parents a house with his lottery winnings, only to find out they think they deserve half of all his winnings.

Here’s a valid point.

And lastly, this comment makes sense, too.

Friendship means respecting each other’s boundaries.