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There’s a difference between being supportive of your roommate’s new relationship and accidentally becoming the third wheel in a home you’re paying to live in.

One 24-year-old has been trying to give his roommate some grace following a difficult breakup. His roommate initially coped by bringing a revolving door of women back to their shared apartment, which wasn’t exactly ideal.

Still, the man figured it was a temporary rebound phase. He was away from home fairly often anyway, so he decided not to make a big deal out of it.

Then one of those women became his roommate’s girlfriend.

And suddenly, the occasional overnight visitor turned into what sounds suspiciously like an additional tenant.

For 20 straight days, the girlfriend has been around morning, noon and night. The couple regularly occupies the living room, fills shared storage space with their belongings and seemingly makes their actual roommate feel unwelcome whenever he leaves his bedroom.

Now he’s wondering how to address the situation without creating unnecessary drama, particularly since his roommate might still be dealing with the emotional fallout of his previous relationship.

My roommates girlfriend has been over day and night for 20 days

My (24m) roommate (26m) was in a fairly recent breakup that sent him spiralling into having random girls over constantly.

This was, in my opinion, pretty inconsiderate and annoying having strangers in our shared space constantly.

But I thought this was a rebound scenario so I didn’t really care and I was away quite a bit.

A good compromise.

One of these strangers has since become his girlfriend and she is over morning noon and night and I feel like I’m intruding on their relationship in my own home.

If I leave my room they get quieter and ask me if I’m heading out soon clearly not wanting me there.

They constantly use the living room, cram all shelves with their own stuff and it’s all round an awkward situation.

Woof.

I have to say I feel super disrespected and there’s no way in hell id ever do this to him but I’m not too sure how to address it.

He’s clearly either really in love with their woman or is still very hurt from his breakup.

Has anyone experienced something similar and how did you handle it?

Twenty consecutive days is a long time to have an overnight guest, especially when that guest has effectively become a permanent fixture in the shared living spaces.

The roommate is absolutely entitled to date someone and have her visit. But there’s a difference between welcoming a partner into your home and quietly allowing that partner to move into a space someone else is paying to share with you.

The most frustrating detail might be how the couple reportedly reacts whenever the man leaves his bedroom. Getting quieter and asking whether he’s heading out soon makes it sound as though they view his presence as an interruption, rather than remembering he’s equally entitled to use the apartment.

His roommate’s recent breakup may explain why he’s spending so much time with his new girlfriend, but it doesn’t excuse disregarding someone else’s comfort.

That said, the man hasn’t actually confronted him about the arrangement yet. Before assuming his roommate is deliberately disrespecting him, he should have a direct conversation about overnight guests, shared spaces and whether the girlfriend is effectively living there.

It’s entirely possible his roommate hasn’t considered how much the situation has changed.

But if the girlfriend is going to spend every day there, the other person paying to live in the apartment deserves a say in that arrangement.

This person has some advice. 

This person has had this happen to them, too.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who calls on dozens of whirlygigs to combat the neighbor’s complaints about the fence.

And this person is just…sorry.

His roommate found a new girlfriend, but somehow he’s the one who’s been made to feel like an unwanted houseguest.