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As you grow up, it’s normal for your parents to allow you to take on extra responsibility, as well as – little by little – permitting you more and more independence. It’s just like fledgling birds, by letting you grow up and giving you the space and grace to do so, your parents are giving you the opportunity to grow into a young adult, whilst still having the safety of their home and love to fall back upon when you inevitably make mistakes. Because let’s not forget that’s what learning is – a series of mistakes and lessons.

In keeping with this, the older brother in this story was allowed to move into the basement apartment at his parents’ home a few years ago, all on the condition that he keep it clean and tidy. And when his younger teenage brother wanted to move downstairs too, the arrangement was the same – but when cleaning day came around, it became abundantly clear that the younger brother didn’t think he should have to abide by his side of the bargain.

Read on to find out what happened next.

AITA for “kicking” my brother back to his old room and making him cry

In my (17, male) house we have a cleaning day once a week. Each person is responsible for cleaning their own room and than we do the shared spaces (living room, kitchen etc) together.

My room is in the basement and I have my own bathroom and a little living room, so when I asked to move to that room two years ago I made a deal with my parents that it will be my space and I would clean it alone.

A couple of months ago my brother (15, male) asked to move into the other room in the basement with me.

My parents asked me what I thought and I said that as long as he helps me clean and doesn’t make too much noise, I don’t really care.

Let’s see how this arrangement is going.

Last week he “moved” into his new room and he’s been fine. He isn’t home too much anyway, so it hasn’t been that big of a change – until today, when we had our cleaning day and he refused to clean anything.

He said that this has been my responsibility to clean everything for two years now and that just because he moved into the room doesn’t mean anything, and he just helped my parents clean the shared rooms upstairs.

I talked to my parents and they said that I can do whatever I want and it’s my space first and foremost especially if he refuses to clean.

So when he went to hang out with his friends I took his things and moved him back to his old room.

Uh-oh. Read on to find out what happened next.

When he came back home he started screaming at me when he saw what I did. He told me I kicked him out, that I am condescending, I’m a spoiled brat and that I don’t own the house – but in less nice words.

I was about to ignore him, but then my sister jumped in to defend me and he started insulting her too.

I just told him that he’s acting like a little kid and that he’s not three so he should get over himself – I told him that when he switched rooms that I expected him to help me clean, and he said he would, just because he thought for a second that he’s above that doesn’t mean that I will play into his delusions. He ran to his room crying.

My parents still aren’t home and my sister is on my side, but I feel bad for making him cry, especially since he’s not someone to cry, this is only the second time I saw him cry this year.

AITA?

Honestly, it really sucks that the brother thought that he could move to the basement and basically free himself of all responsibilities.

And the fact that he thought his older brother would just clean up after him? It’s totally unreasonable.

Sure it sucks to be the reason that someone you care about is crying, but the younger brother only has himself to blame here.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person thought the older brother was right for taking a stand.

While others thought it was best for the younger brother to learn the lessons now.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who thinks her daughter should have planned a whole two-week vacation around her needs.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that perhaps there was something else going on in the younger brother’s life.

It is suspicious that the younger brother burst into tears when he doesn’t usually cry, because he’d had his stuff moved back up to his old bedroom. And honestly, that coupled with the way he yelled at his older brother and his sister does suggest that there’s something not quite right with him – and whether it’s something to do with school or his friends, a potential romantic partner, or even just the stress of puberty, it is definitely something for his parents to try to investigate or keep an eye on.

But the truth is, this younger brother learned an important lesson from this. No one is just going to clean up after you – and even after moving down to the basement, he still had responsibilities for keeping his part of the house clean. And in a few years when he goes to college, and then eventually lives on his own, that is going to be an important lesson to take forward – so while things don’t feel very nice now, this lesson will stick with him, all for the better.