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Sharing household belongings only works when borrowing includes returning them clean and where they belong.
How many oily appliances and misplaced supplies should one roommate clean before generosity becomes unpaid maintenance?
After repeated messes disrupted her own schedule, this student finally revoked access to everything she owned.
Now she wonders whether the boundary went too far.
AITA for telling my roommate she can’t use any of my stuff anymore?
Since I have been rooming with my roommate I have always been very open to letting her use my things, but this year it’s come with an issue.
She never cleans or puts my stuff back where she found it.
She gives several examples of this.
She asked to use my spray bottle for her hair and I said sure, just clean it off after she’s done.
She did not and left it on the floor where she did her hair. To her credit, I never actually clean off the spray bottle — I only cleaned it off when she asked.
Another example is my dish soap she used. A couple days after her, I was going to wash my dishes but I could not find it. I spent a good 10–15 minutes looking before I found it in one of her drawers.
There are other little things that have happened that I let go.
But then one huge mess sent her frustration over the edge.
I finally got irritated when she used my little panini press.
Yesterday I had little time after my class and before my meeting to make myself a quick lunch. When I got my sandwich ready, I opened the press thing and it was dirty.
Like really oily, with crumbs and melted cheese on it. I didn’t really have time to clean it off, so I just ate my sandwich cold on the way to my meeting.
So she finally put her foot down.
Later that night I told her she can’t use any of my stuff anymore because that was not the first time it’s happened with my press. I always clean up after her.
She told me she was sorry, but she can’t afford any of the stuff I get, that’s why she always uses it. I had no problem with her using it, but I feel like she’s disrespecting my stuff and it’s not fair to me.
Now she’s not sure how to proceed.
I feel like I should’ve just said she can’t use the press instead of everything, because we do share a lot of things. But I always clean her stuff before putting it back.
So should I tell her she can use everything but the press, or leave it how I told her?
AITA?
If her roommate wants to use her stuff, she’ll have to start by showing a little respect.
What did Reddit think?
This roommate has been crossing boundaries for a long time now.
In no way is her roommate entitled to use her things whenever she pleases.
This roommate’s excuses really don’t hold much weight.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who calls on dozens of whirlygigs to combat the neighbor’s complaints about the fence.
Just because her roommate can’t afford things doesn’t mean she’s entitled to steal anyone else’s belongings.
The roommate repeatedly returned borrowed belongings dirty or misplaced, culminating in a filthy panini press that ruined this student’s rushed lunch plans.
Her inability to afford those items explains why she borrows them, but not her failure to treat them respectfully.
Borrowing was free; the cleanup service has closed.
