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The first few days after having a baby are undoubtedly physically taxing. But for one new mother, they have been emotionally taxing as well.

After a traumatic birth that left her needing emergency surgery and recovering from significant blood loss, her newborn son was immediately admitted to the NICU with a serious heart condition and the possibility of surgery.

Any mother would expect that if her husband took a paternity leave, he would be there to support her and the baby during this very difficult moment.

Instead, he has been spending much of that time with his older son from a previous relationship.

She’s not upset at him spending time with his other child.

She’s upset because he was absent during possibly the hardest moment of her life.

Still, could she have done something differently?

Read the full story below.

AITA for telling my husband that paternity leave isn’t a holiday?

I (30sF) gave birth to our son a few days ago.

It was incredibly traumatic. I had a severe postpartum haemorrhage, lost 1.8 litres of blood, and had emergency surgery to remove my placenta. I’m still recovering.

Our son was born with pulmonary atresia with intact ventricular septum and was admitted straight to the NICU.

He’ll likely need heart surgery, and we’ve since been told they’ve found another abnormality they’re investigating.

Births are already difficult, but this was on another level.

My husband has a son from a previous relationship (Greg). I want to be clear that I have no issue with Greg meeting his little brother or spending time with his dad.

I’ve never asked him to choose between his children.

Two days after I gave birth, I thought Greg’s mum would bring him to meet the baby before taking him home. Instead, my husband collected Greg and spent the entire day with him.

This means she didn’t have her husband with her most of the day.

They went on the London Eye, had lunch, he had a beer, then went home to play Xbox until Greg was collected around 9pm.

During that day, my husband spent around 20 minutes with our newborn in the NICU and barely saw me.

My mum stayed with me on the postnatal ward, but she couldn’t come into the NICU, so I was making my own way to see our son while recovering from major blood loss and surgery.

When I explained I wasn’t upset Greg had visited but that I hadn’t expected to be left alone all day while our baby was critically ill, my husband became defensive.

He said he enjoyed spending time with Greg and that he was “being a parent.”

It’s an absurd situation, but she explained the obvious to him.

I replied that I wasn’t saying he shouldn’t parent Greg. I was saying I needed him to be a husband to me and a father to our newborn during what was a medical emergency.

When I later explained how serious my blood loss had been, his response was, “My sister lost 5.”

The next day I told him doctors had found another abnormality with our son’s heart.

He complained nobody had told him.

I pointed out he’d already left because he’d only spent about 20 minutes in the NICU.

It’s heartbreaking.

I’ve now been discharged, but our son is still in the NICU. I’m exhausted and terrified to leave him, while my husband has again spent the morning taking Greg to the cinema.

I finally told him that paternity leave isn’t supposed to be a holiday and that I don’t feel supported.

I said if this is what his paternity leave looks like, I’d almost rather he went back to work because at least then I’d understand why I was doing everything alone.

He says I’m being unfair because he’s trying to balance both children.

AITA?

Normalize telling bad dads that they’re being bad dads.

At this point she’d be better off getting a new partner since this one seems to be malfunctioning. But what did Reddit have to say?

A reader shares their thoughts.

“Baffling” is the word.

Yup.

Another reader chimes in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mother who thinks it’s the school’s job to discipline her unruly child, not hers.

It is cruel.

The fact that she’s asking if she’s the one in the wrong in this situation angers me. Girl, NO.

He screwed up (and proudly) during one of the most important moments of their life.

When the child grows up, I hope she tells them that their father was hanging out at the movies while leaving her alone.