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When going out with friends, it is common to split the costs of things and just let the money work itself out, but that only works if both parties are paying for things.

What would you do if you went out with a friend and she kept having you pay for ride shares, drinks, and other things without her ever picking up the tab?

That is what happened to the woman in this story, and she feels like her friend was taking advantage of her because she is doing well financially (though not rich by any means). Now she doesn’t know if she should confront her friend or just let it go.

She should try to talk to her friend about it and see what she says. It may be that she just misunderstood the situation, though that seems unlikely. Read through the full story below and see how you think she should handle it.

Am I overreacting for feeling turned off by how my friend handled money during her visit?

I’m curious how other people would feel about this, because I can’t tell if I’m being too sensitive or if this would bother most people too.

There is a difference between rich and comfortable.

A friend came to visit me in NYC, and this was only our second time hanging out in person. We have a lot in common and I genuinely liked her, but the way money played out over the last couple of days really turned me off.

For some background, I’m a female, late thirties, financially comfortable and probably come across as pretty well off. I live in Manhattan, own designer bags and shoes, have some expensive watches, take luxury vacations, and come from a wealthy family/background, so I’m aware the way I carry myself may read as more affluent than average.

Even if she were extremely rich, that doesn’t mean she has to pay for everything.

But I’m not Elon Musk with endless disposable income. I budget, save, and make choices about where my money goes. I don’t go out every weekend or spend recklessly, and having nice things doesn’t mean I’m comfortable constantly absorbing other people’s expenses.

During her visit, I paid for a round of drinks that was around $70 and also paid for multiple Ubers. The Uber situation is what really got to me.

Her friend is making this weird.

We were going to dinner and I paid about $40 for the Uber there. I didn’t ask her to send me anything for it, and she said she would get the Uber back to her hotel after dinner.

When dinner was over, I was kind of looking at her expecting her to call it since she had already said she would. I said something like, “Okay, let’s leave, let’s call the Uber,” and she was like “okay cool,” but then just stayed there scrolling on her phone and waiting.

That is a lot of money for a short ride.

I found that really odd because it felt obvious that she was waiting for me to be the one to actually book it. It was raining, so Uber had surged to around $60.

She then said we were “just going to have to split it,” even though she knew I had already spent $40 getting us there and she had said she’d get the ride back.

I told her I didn’t want to pay $60 for such a short ride and suggested we wait for the price to go down.

This has become an expensive night out.

She went back to scrolling on Instagram and still didn’t call anything. After sitting there awkwardly, I checked another rideshare app, found a ride for about $32, and booked it myself because I wanted to leave.

I told her I had booked it, and she still didn’t ask if she could Zelle me anything or offer to cover any part of it. After I dropped her off at her hotel, I still had to Uber myself home, which was another $52.

Her friend is definitely taking advantage.

That part is obviously my own transportation and I’m completely fine paying for that. My issue is that by the end of the day, I had spent about $124 total on Ubers while she had spent $0 on transportation.

What also bothered me is that she never once offered to buy me a round at any of the bars we went to, even when we were having $30 drinks. She never said “you got the last one, I’ll get this one,” and never asked for my Zelle/Cash App for any of the rides.

It isn’t that she doesn’t have any money at all.

Meanwhile, earlier that day, she bought a $140 decorative candle/match holder for her coffee table, so it didn’t seem like she was in a situation where she literally could not spend money.

I also noticed that multiple times she preferred walking 25–30 minutes instead of taking the subway or Uber, which made me think she may just be very cost-conscious in general.

Things don’t have to be perfectly even, but they should be fair.

I’m not someone who likes nickel-and-diming friends. My normal dynamic with friends is one person gets a round, the other gets the next, one person grabs an Uber, the other gets the next one, and it all kind of evens out naturally. I don’t need things to be exactly 50/50.

But I do care about reciprocity, and this made me feel like she was comfortable letting me absorb the extras without really thinking about it.

Money can make things weird between friends and family.

It also hit a nerve because I’ve had this issue with family too, where people seem to assume that because I have nice things, I can just absorb costs.

Would this bother you too? Would you ask her to send something toward the Ubers, or would you just chalk it up to different money styles and adjust how you handle things going forward?

If she wants the money, she should just send her a request via whatever app they use and see how her friend reacts. While her friend should have offered to pay, you can’t get too upset if you aren’t willing to ask about it.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

This is a simple way to handle it.

Her friend does seem like a cheapskate.

Here is a commenter who says they would be bothered by it.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who don’t think they should have to give up their own sports’ seasons to help with their younger siblings.

Just ask for the money.

Yeah, this is what makes the situation bad.

She was definitely being taken advantage of, but it could have just been a misunderstanding. Talking to her friend about it, or sending her a money request, could help to get past this.