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Visiting someone out of obligation hits differently than visiting them out of love, and this woman knew that difference intimately.

Her terminally ill grandfather had spent decades being an absent, self-centered presence in her family’s life, including one moment where he publicly told her father he was ashamed of him.

Despite everything, she kept showing up to the hospital, driven purely by guilt rather than genuine connection, all while he talked endlessly about himself without ever once asking how she was doing.

Now he was planning a surprise gift, an expensive gold bracelet meant to serve as a lasting memory of him, and she felt nothing but dread at the idea of accepting it.

Being expected to treasure something from a man who’d caused real harm left her stuck between resentment and guilt.

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA if I refused an expensive gift from my dying grandpa?

My grandpa was a crappy grandpa and even worse father. In short, he never cared about anyone.

We cut contact with him for a bit after a big argument, where he told my dad (in front of our family) that he was ashamed of him.

Lately, her grandfather’s life has taken a different turn.

Now he’s sick and dying from cancer, so I try to visit him once in a while out of moral guilt.

However, I really don’t like visiting him or talking to him, he basically just talks about himself, his stories.

He only cares about me to brag to some strangers about his granddaughter, but he never actually cares how I’m doing, which has been the case since I was born.

Then things got even worse.

Now he has an idea (which is supposed to be a surprise) to buy me an expensive gold bracelet of my choosing (I wear silver) to remember him by.

So I’m conflicted, my dad doesn’t know I know, and it’s “a good thing” in his eyes, but I hate the idea.

She isn’t sure she wants to be associated with him in any way.

I don’t want to feel obligated to wear something that relates to this man, it feels like he’s trying to buy my love or something.

But then the guilt comes back.

But I’m scared I’m gonna regret it, which is also the reason I visit him.

He’s my family, so I should care, I should want to have something from him, and I did feel sad seeing him in the hospital and all, but I just struggle with it, knowing what a crappy person he is.

WIBTA if I didn’t want the bracelet?

This is a tough one.

What did Reddit have to say?

Guilt aside, there could be real monetary value to this.

This user has the same thought.

Why not get a different finishing since he’s already offering?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who moved her mom in after her dad passed, but doesn’t want to fill the role of a spouse.

Maybe her grandpa is simply apologizing in his own way.

This woman really didn’t owe this man much, but she kept visiting anyway, which already says more about her character than his ever did.

If he’d wanted a granddaughter who felt genuinely connected to him, that required years of actually asking how she was doing, not one expensive gesture timed for maximum emotional leverage.

Trying to buy sentimentality at the eleventh hour doesn’t erase a lifetime of only showing up for the bragging rights.