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Moving house is always stressful, even if you’re moving somewhere just a few streets away. Because packing up your entire life isn’t just inconvenient, it’s also wildly complicated. So spare a thought for those folks who aren’t just moving to somewhere nearby, they’re moving their entire lives across the globe.

Sure it’s exciting, but there’s a lot that you would understandably be nervous about too. So when the woman in this story got an offer to study in the US, she was over the moon and couldn’t wait for the next chapter of her life to begin. But she was also grateful for the opportunity to have her dad and brother support her by travelling with her and helping her get settled in her new home – some quality time and a bit of familiarity during an understandably overwhelming time.

But then, to the woman’s disappointment, her stepmother got involved – and just like that, everything changed.

Read on to find out more.

WIBTA for telling my dad I feel like my stepmom is hijacking my move to the US?

I’m a student from Europe (female, 21), and I got a scholarship to do research at a good university in the US for one year.

I’m moving in a month and I’m really excited because it feels like a dream come true.

My dad (male, 54) and stepmom (female, 48) are coming to the US around the same time to help me “get settled in,” but this is where my problem starts.

Read on to find out where this has become problematic.

As soon as I heard that I got the scholarship, I had all these ideas in my head about going to America and having my family there to support me and say goodbye.

What I personally really wanted was for my dad and twin brother to come with me, because this is a huge milestone for me and I thought it would be really nice to have some quality time with the three of us.

We never really do anything together anyway (I never have alone time with my dad, it always has to be with my stepmom too but that’s a whole different story).

Instead, my brother is suddenly not even part of the plan anymore, and now it’s my dad and stepmom who are going to “help” me.

Uh-oh. Let’s see why she’s getting increasingly upset about this.

I mean don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that they are willing to travel all the way to the US and help me. But at the same time, it now feels much more like a holiday for my stepmom and much less like they are actually coming for me.

I first noticed this when my dad suddenly messaged me saying, “hi, stepmom and I are going to the US on these dates, so make sure you are there then, otherwise we can’t help you because we will already be gone.” They basically planned the whole trip around themselves, even tho the reason was supposedly to help me move.

They are also not even staying anywhere near where I’m going. They booked a five-star hotel about 400 miles away, and when I arrive they are only going to stay near me for one day to “help me,” after which they will continue their holiday.

My stepmom can also be extremely competitive and jealous, and I’m scared she is going to make the whole trip about herself. When I told everyone about the scholarship, she immediately started saying things like, “Wow, it has always been my dream to live in the US. I wish I got to do that.”

Read on to find out how she’s dealing with all this.

I tried to ignore it and just focus on myself, but when I really think about it, I actually feel quite disappointed and sad.

It was supposed to be a huge milestone for me and now feels like it has been turned into an excuse for my dad and stepmom to go on a luxury holiday, while helping me for one day on the side.

I’m thinking about telling my dad that I feel hurt and that I had hoped this would be more of a family moment, but at the same time their plans are already made and there probably isn’t much that can change. I also don’t want to sound ungrateful.

Would I be wrong if I told him that it feels like my move to the US feels hijacked?

WIBTA?

Honestly, what started as a trip to help her get settled in has turned into a vacation in which she needs to work her life around their schedule.

And sure, it’s fine for them to take a vacation to the US, likely inspired by the fact that she was moving there, but this is very clearly no longer the bonding time that the daughter was hoping for.

And now her jealous stepmother is involved, it’s never going to be that.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person thought she should explain her feelings to her dad.

While others agreed that there was clearly no point in them coming to help her after all.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who doesn’t want to help his sister cover their aging father’s groceries.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to see if her brother could travel across with her instead.

What was meant to be a trip to help her settle in has now become something very different, not at all centred around her life-changing move across the world whatsoever. In fact, they had forgotten about that fact completely, to the point that she now has to arrange her schedule around them, all while dealing with the stress of moving and the complexities of moving to a new country. Rather than helping her, her dad and stepmom are very quickly becoming more of a hindrance.

While she should definitely talk to her dad about this, she needs to be prepared to do the move without any help now, since clearly her stepmom has taken over and changed the arrangements considerably. And if her brother isn’t available to help her either, she’s going to be in this alone, unless her dad sees just how much more complicated his wife is making everything. And it’s a shame, because it sounds like she was really looking forward to an opportunity for time with her family.