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Living with roommates means signing up for a marathon of small negotiations.
One student studying abroad ran into a big one when a flatmate decided that two visiting friends would be sleeping on the living room couches for days.
The plan was presented as settled, even though the living room belonged to everybody and the student spent most of his evenings in it.
The student soon found himself in a difficult situation. Pushing back felt rude, but staying silent felt even worse worse.
Was one honest conversation worth the tension it would inevitably bring into the space?
Read on to find out what Reddit had to say.
WIBTA for not allowing random ppl in our living room?
I want to start this off by explaining my situation. I am currently studying abroad for one semester and live in a shared flat.
In total, we are 6 people, all with our own bed- and bathrooms and one shared kitchen/living room. Also, I am autistic, which my roommates know.
I keep to myself, and there haven’t been any conflicts until now.
Soon his roomie comes to him with an uncomfortable request.
Now, one of my roommates is being visited by two of his friends from back home and asked if they could stay in our living room for multiple days (on our two couches).
But he’s immediately wary of this.
And honestly, I don’t like the idea of people sleeping in our already limited communal space. It’s an open space where we normally spend a good amount of time each evening.
He starts feeling like this is more of an advanced warning than a conversation.
From his text, it sounds like it’s already planned like that. Also, saying no would mean that they would need to get a pretty expensive accommodation.
WIBTA for speaking up that I don’t want it?
If he really wants a different outcome, he needs to speak up now before it’s too late.
What did Reddit think?
This user thinks this student’s feelings are completely valid.
If his roomies ask him a question, they need to be prepared to accept the answer, even if it’s one they don’t like.
This commenter shares their experience in a similar situation.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a neighbor who documented times of noise spikes and turned their neighbor into a model tenant.
It’s time to push this roommate for a little more specificity.
All things considered, this student has been the model flatmate for months. That good reputation should earn him the right to be honest about his feelings on this.
It’s clear this roomie was sketchy about the request because, deep down, he likely knew it wasn’t a good deal for anyone else but himself.
And if the student refuses to speak up now, he could find himself turning into the resident doormat in future disagreements.
The visitors can find a hostel for a night or two, and the roommate can learn to ask first.