Flirting can be fun if you’re someone who is naturally social and great with people. If you’re not, it can be painful, and honestly, it goes poorly more than it goes well, in my experience.
If you’re looking for ways to improve your odds, psychologists at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology says they have the answer.
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To find it, they looked at college students in both Norway and the States, and they all identified as heteros*xual. They were asked to rate the effectiveness of 40 different types of flirting, depending on the length of relationship they were looking for and whether the person flirting was male or female.
They also took into account the participants level of extroversion, age, religion, attractiveness, and willingness to be in a relationship.
Leif Edward Ottesen Kennari, one of the study authors, said this in a press release.
“What’s most effective depends on your gender and whether the purpose of the flirtation is a long-term or short-term relationship.”
For women looking for a short-term relationship, this is considered the most effective technique:
“People consider signals that you’re s*xually available to be the most effective for women who are looking for a short-term relationship.”
Basically, you want to make obvious statements that highlight your s*xual availability – the less subtle, the better.
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Men looking for these same types of relationship, though, had to use more than one technique.
“The tactics that were judged most effective for women for a one-night stand were exclusively s*xual or physical. In contrast, men were judged more effective if they, in addition to physical and s*xual tactics, also smiled, showed interest in conversations, gave compliments, and made her laugh.”
Which is all to say, women need more than physical touch to generate attraction.
If men are looking for a longer-term relationship, they should add “signs of generosity and a willingness to commit” to their arsenal.
They did have a tip that’s more universal, though, as far as the thing that almost always works best – and it probably won’t surprise you.
“People think that humour, or being able to make another person laugh, is most effective for men who are looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women who are looking for a one-night stand. But laughing or giggling at the other person’s jokes is an effective flirtation tactic for both s*xes.”
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If you’re paying attention, it means that not only is it effective to be funny, but for women, it’s important to show your partner you think they’re funny as well.
Being funny is tough, so in the meantime, they suggest smiling and eye contact as well.
It can’t hurt, right?