Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, and you can never truly understand an alien species…or so, that’s what people believe.
And these men say that’s absolutely true, because they deal with some daily struggles that they say women can just never understand.
No way to win.
If we don’t express our emotions in a way that matches expectations, usually through actions and body language, they generally aren’t received or taken seriously, even when communicated clearly. It typically doesn’t matter how we say we feel.
Then if we go so far as to have an outburst like yelling or crying, the emotions are finally understood and taken seriously, but they change people’s opinions of us, and usually in a negative way.
There is no “I was just upset” excuse for us. We have to remain in control at all times because we’ll either be considered too scary or too weak, but in doing so, we’re constantly told that we don’t open up enough.
Definitely not true.
I had a situation in that I overheard my fiance’s mother once say to her in very different words that men have only two emotions. Rage and horny.
Basically sounded to me like she thought all men with emotions were just con-men lying to get s*x.
Mining for clues.
Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to go on.
Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep.
An exhausting balancing act.
Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and masculine in such a way that maintains attraction.
This leaks into communication, s*x, outward behavior, and damn near everything in a relationship.
No one bats an eye.
my brother got physically abused by his ex and somehow a ton of people still assume he did something to deserve it?…
Imagine if the reverse happened! Like a woman talks about how her ex boyfriend punched her because he is an abusive piece of shit and i would go “yea but what did you do to deserve such a reaction?”.
if i did that everyone would agree that i am the a$$hole but for some reason multiple people have said this to my brother and no one bats an eye.
This makes me mad.
I was the victim of domestic violence, and was laughed out of the police station when I attempted to report it.
So many questions.
The whole series or why do you like/why are you doing/wearing/eating/drinking/feeling x or why do you know about or how to do x, you’re a guy? Questions we get on a regular basis.
Why are you wearing pink? You’re a guy
Why are you drinking anything that’s not a beer? You’re a guy
Why are you in this pottery class? You’re a guy
Why did that movie make you tear up? You’re a guy
Hell my favorite was when I was asked that question because I asked for water on a hot day. Apparently drinking water isn’t a thing guys are supposed to do.
Even got asked that when someone asked why I was wearing glasses. Apparently if you’re a guy you’re not allowed to see properly.
Just about every guy gets questions like these on a regular basis that they probably don’t even notice any more.
It’s also not just other guys that ask this but men, women, family members, kids, servers, and I’ve had people at places that tried to make a point that everyone was loved and accepted ask stuff like that even if it wasn’t intentional.
They get scared, too.
Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared s*%tless yourself and don’t want to either.
Only the correct feelings.
If you don’t open up about your feelings you’re a toxic man. If you do, you’re either being rude or being a pussy.
We’re only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else’s convenience.
They like kids.
Talking/interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a pedo.
Once headed out with my 3 year old niece to a playground . . . half an hour later the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up.
Not at all fun.
Being accused of kidnapping my kids while taking them to the playground. That was fun.
Women going out of their way to avoid me when walking on a street (crossing the street). I get it, but wow does it hurt.
Feeling crushing anxiety and not being able to show it to basically anyone. My wife interprets it as me being unstable/unable to be the provider, even my therapist assumed I was just not wanting to face my demons and that I need to get over it. Gotta keep it in.
Being really sick and told it’s manflu.
Having me sense of self worth basically pinned to my ability to earn money
Very specific, but illustrates the point: I once was at a conference and I saw two ladies walking ahead of me. One was carrying a purse by its handle and it was hanging down.
The purse was unzipped and stuff was starting to fall out as she was walking. I ran up and interrupted and pointed out the purse was open and stuff was about to fall out.
They both looked at me and asked why I would be looking at her purse and called me a creep and walked away.
No matter their age.
Being looked at as a pervert or weirdo for taking your kids to the park or store or anywhere.
Any age too! Newborn all the way to teenager!
Mental health.
Talking about your mental health. In recent years I’ve become more open about it but a lot of the men around me just won’t open up about it. There are people I know who have ended their life because of mental health issues.
I think it’s a difficult conversation no matter your gender, but a lot of men are told to “suck it up” or told that “men don’t cry” so they have to keep it all inside.
Never.
You can shake it, you can thump it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you zip the zipper, the last drop will never fall.
No one believes you.
Not being believed when it comes to s*xual harassment
I was s*xually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago and when I told it to the school they didn’t do anything
Both of my parents got involved and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me
Huh, these are really interesting.
I guess we can try to get it, now!