It’s no secret that people can say some pretty heinous and unfeeling things. That said, I would guess that a majority of the time, they don’t mean anything bad and have just spoken without really thinking about the other half of the equation – meaning the experience of the listener.
OP has struggled with an eating disorder for some time and since a recent backslide had put her behind in her schoolwork, needed to talk to her advisor about getting extensions on her assignment.
Gonna preface this with the fact that I have anorexia so read at your discretion if it can be potentially upsetting.
One day as I was hanging around in my school’s biology labs talking to professors, my academic advisor walked in. I had just started treatment because I lost upwards of 20 pounds in two months and needed to get back on the wagon to stay in school.
Since my advisor had walked in on the conversation, I was hoping to segue into bringing her aside to talk about extensions.
When that advisor – who knew about her long-term struggle with the illness – commented on how great she looked and basically asked for dieting advice from a woman she knew was really struggling.
Nope. She came into the conversation with,”Wow, I wish I could lose weight like that.” She rattled on about her unsuccessful dieting and her lack of willpower not like mine. How could I do it?
I lost it internally. Mind you she was fully aware of my issues because I had taken medical absences and have had to maneuver classes around treatment.
Never stopped her from telling me whenever I ate french fries that I don’t eat real food.
So, OP sent her all of the (very honest and graphic) advice she had, and never heard from her about weight loss again.
Here’s where the malicious compliance comes in. I in jest I said, “Do you want tips?” She obviously jumped on that. Of course she’d love tips.
The next day I sent an email with every single detail of behavior usage. How to restrict, how to vomit, lying to your friends and therapists, how to run a 5k after not eating for days, etc.
It got graphic too with how to deal with vomiting blood, passing out in public, acid erosion on your teeth, and having your hair fall out.
She didn’t respond to that email, but she stopped talking about dieting in front of me for the rest of my time in college.
I bet Reddit is going to lift this OP up!
People need so much help shutting up.
Just don’t comment on people’s weight. Period.
You never know what’s going on in someone else’s life.
Finding a good doctor shouldn’t be such a novelty.
Just beyond gross.
Can we just all agree to stop these comments?
It’s not a good look on anyone.